H kinda came outta the dark, but he's gone again

[Ophelia]

Well I finally got around to replying to H's last email Friday before last. Because it had been a few weeks between his last email and my reply, I actually started it by apologising for not having replied earlier, but said I just hadn't felt up to it, then added that I hadn't felt up to much of anything of late, then went on a little bit about how I figured my sleeping patterns were contributing to my depression....yep, I actually used that word. Maybe I shouldn't have, because we all know that depressed and/or needy isn't attractive, but I felt like being honest.

I talked about some other stuff, then at the end, addressed the topic of our M certificate and how his L still hadn't sent it back to me. I said that I'd actually contemplated going to their offices and demanding it back in person, (they should have sent it back to me weeks, if not months ago), but confessed that I knew that if I did that, I'd just end up ripping a new one for whoever ended up having to deal with me.

I also said that I was sorry that his L kept sending him letters about whether or not I was gonna sign the property settlement papers, and charging him each time they did, but pointed out that it was HIM who had thought it necessary to get a legal document saying he gets to keep the pool table while I get to keep everything else. I pointed out that it was HIM who decided to heap legal fees on top of his already existing debt.

After I'd sent the email, I thought maybe I shouldn't have, because I did come across as both depressed and angry, but by then it was done.

So today, I got the M certificate back in the mail! It came with a letter, requesting that I sign and return the property settlement papers within 14 days, (up until now they hadn't put a time limit on it). So I sent H another email:

Just letting you know that I finally got our marriage certificate back today.

The forms will get signed. Not because it's something I want to do, or feel prepared to do, but for whatever reason it's apparently something you need done, and I don't want to just be remembered as a thorn in your side. We both deserve better than that.

I've enjoyed hearing from you again, even though my cynical side is now wondering if you just kept it up so you could keep sussing me out regarding the lagal crap. I don't want to think that way, but after everything that's happened, I guess I just have to wonder. Sorry if my blabbing on in my last email was a bit much. I do hope we can stay in contact somehow. I'd love to hear about Africa and Kilimanjaro and see your photos when you get back. I remember when you first said you wanted to do it, and I thought it sounded a bit crazy, because no one I've ever known has ever done something that huge. I'm proud of you for being determined to do it, and like I said, I'd very much like to hear about it when you get back.

Ez said the other week that you didn't play Oztag because you'd injured your knee. Hope it wasn't too serious and is on the mend.

Have a good rest of the week.


(Ez is my brother BTW...nickname, not his real name. And he and H play on the same Oztag team, which is a form of football.)

I dunno if that email was good DBing or bad DBing, or maybe a little bit of both. All I know is that I felt that it needed to be said, and a glass or two of wine gave me the guts to say it, so we'll see what kind of a response, if any, I end up getting.