I personally think there is a lot of 'parenting' going on between CeMar and his Mrs. From the info he has given on her, she is a nurturer. I believe she is also a teacher, so she spends a good deal of time 'nurturing' at work.
Given that CeMar says his family was 'normal' and 'happy,' I would guess that most, if not all his needs, were always met. Sometimes one of the hardest things to learn coming out of such a family is how one is supposed to meet their own needs.
So these two people found one another, and at first, it probably seemed like a perfect match. But a woman who marries a man she nurtures is going to kill her own sex drive, for the sexual relationship is going to begin to feel incestuous to her. The man will become baffled because 'it never seemed to be a problem before.' He has a need, she needs to fill it (at least to him), and this is exactly why he married her. All she understands is that her sex drive has dried up, and all he wants from her is sex...
This is not a give/take relationship, not a 50/50 R between a man and a woman. It is that whole Freudian thing... and it is way more common than many realize.
My xH and I ran into exactly this thing. It is very hard to fix.... this is evident in CeMar's seeming inability to grasp what it is people are telling him. He keeps wondering what he has done 'wrong.' He has not done anything wrong, per se. There isn't something here that has to be 'fixed.' It is a dynamic that has to be changed... IF he wants a vibrant sex life with his wife, once again.
And that is just the beginning, really. But this is where my shrink started with my xH and I, to get us on the same page of understanding. Both spouses have to be aware of the funky dynamic THEY BOTH CREATED to be able to start to change it.
I think they are both going to need some help doing this... and I think CeMar, since he is the one aware of the problem, is going to have to be the one to take charge, rattle the cage, and get this process started.
