Well another weekend has come and gone. I did not do a whole lot though. I went golfing again on Saturday then hung out with my neighbors in the evening. Yesterday, I went to church then made dinner for everyone though my STBXW did not eat. Sunday evening D2 and I just relaxed a bit. We went for a walk, got some ice cream at her request and then watched a Disney movie.
My STBXW called me yesterday and asked me for my bottom line number for buying her out of the house. My answer to her is the same as it always has been take the market value of our house minus realator and closing costs then get the difference between that number and what is left on our mortgage. She then gets half. Unfortunately she and her lawyer do not like what I am proposing. She feels that she should not have to pay any of those extra costs, I on the otherhand feel she should get the same amount as if we were to sell the house today. She is also thinking that I am going to be giving her the cash equivalent to half of my 401(k), this is not going to happen because it will cost me more in the end. Even though she is going to walk away with a lot of money I think she is upset that it is not more.
My W also informed me that she put money down on a new townhome and she should be out of the house either September 7th(my birthday) or December 7th. I guess it depends entirely on how long the divorce takes. She also informed me that her girl friend, who also is getting divorced, is going to be her neighbor. It sounds like everything for her is going good.
My W on Friday decided that she would help me find a nanny without first talking to me about it. I came home from a run and she informed me that the girls are taken care for me on Friday's. I was not happy that she helped with this. I know she is their mom, but, it is my responsibility to make sure my girls are properly cared for while under my care not hers. This convo lead to her accusing me of dragging me feet with the D. W - Why haven't you looked into refinancing yet? M - I have but I do not have a firm number inregards to buying you out yet. I then told her to give me a number. (Which she actually did but it was about $15,000 more then it is going to be.) W - Whats going on with you and your L? Have you talkin to her lately? M - No, I have not talked to her lately. She has everything that she has asked for from me. I cannot speed this D along anymore then it is. I provided everything that I was supposed to to her and it will go from there.
It also seems that my W is playing the middle man to me for her L. He wants me to put down everything for him with actually numbers so he can look it over. I told her that my L and I will have everything he will need and he can talk to my L. I will not be providing anything for her L.
I then went up stairs to shower and my W left for the evening with our girls...so I thought. Well she wasn't done and she came it the bathroom to vent some more. On her way in she heard me venting to myself....For the first time my W heard that I feel she is selfish, shallow and a tramp. I did not repeat calling her a tramp once I knew that she was around. I actually hate that I feel this way about her the mother of my girls, but currently it seems that the shoe fits. She then left, came back, left, came back... I forgot exactly what she said to me, but my answer to her was she is the one that keeps coming back keeping the convo going. That pretty much ended it and I was then able to take my shower.
I am feeling OK rightnow though my head goes in multiple directions. Part of me wants this done and over with, but, on the other hand I do not want to lose my family. As much as my W is someone that I do not know at this point, I really do not want to lose her or my girls. I know that I will have my girls 40% of the time, but, I hate the thought of coming home to an empty house. I built this house for my family and now I will be living in it alone most of the time. I will probably stay in the house for a year or two but it might be hard on me - we will see.
