Husband, It's ok...we'll let you slide this one time. Next time, you better watch out. I think being called OP's name might be the absolute worse thing any of us LBS's could be called.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Hi Hopeless, I am just checking in. I am lurking in fromSeparated, Now What threads. You are where I will be in about four - six months. Maybe sooner. I read back on your sitch and our Hs have acted the same so I kind of can peak into the future and see how I should handle myself. You will probably be my role model/ advisor. Keep up the good work and thanks for the encouragement. What pitfalls should I avoid?
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
MK, sorry to hear that you are going through this. It's the hardest thing that I have ever been through, but speaking from experience things will get better.
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You will probably be my role model/ advisor. Keep up the good work and thanks for the encouragement.
Thank you that is very nice of you to say. It's nice to see that even though my sitch is terrible, I might be helping other people.
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What pitfalls should I avoid?
My first suggestion would be to GAL (get a life). I didn't do a very good job at that during the first couple of months of my sitch. I didn't go out very much because I was protecting H. I wanted to make the path home the easiest possible. I figured the less people saw of me...the less likely they were to think that the rumors were actually true. I continued to do everything with him in mind. Now, I look back and realize that my actions didn't affect my H's behavior in the least bit. I should have lived for myself from day one. I am an attractive 27 year old woman and I have my whole life ahead of me. Also, don't get hung up on the little things. Don't get hung up on how your H reacts. My H would fly off the handle at me in one conversation and then a few days later, he would be very pleasant. The only explanation that I have is that my H is crazy. Just the other day, my H's brother and sister told me I need to be meaner to my H...they asked what I was getting from being nice. I told them...I can say that I took the high road and I never have to look back and say I didn't give it my all. I told them that they haven't seen it all and I have not let him walk all over me. I have stood my ground. I am proud of that. You don't know how you will react to this situation until you are in it. You cannot control anyone else's actions...only your own. My H's own foolish pride has destroyed our marriage, but it has not destroyed my spirit. I hope this all helps.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
You would have thought that your bil would have told his brother no she is not welcome until after the D. I do not want my child being exposed to all of this nonsense. Or even a no she is not welcome and never will be. Are you crazy or just out of your mind for leaving Hope?
That's what I would have hoped, but my bil's won't stand up to my H. They don't want him mad at them, so instead they have let his immoral behavior into their homes and lives. I know this bil already thinks my H is crazy for leaving me. I went boating with my bil's family last weekend. I was going out, so I just got ready at the lakehouse. When I walked out, I think that bil's jaw about hit the ground...he just said you look really nice. My sil went on to say that I needed to gain a few pounds so I would look like the rest of them. My bil said...oh don't do that.
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Good for you on your Mini-Vaca, there is a lot to do here and see in Chicago. If you make it to the Sears Tower look me up I'll buy you lunch.
Hopefully, it will be a good time. I am going with mil, sil, and nieces. I get up to the Chicago area with work every once in awhile, so if I ever get back up there I might have to take you up on the lunch.
Take care.
Last edited by hopeless11; 07/30/0705:35 PM.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
Okay, so I have a question...can someone be too nice? Two times last weekend I was told that I was "too nice"...once by sil and once by a coworker (coversation was about work). I like to think of myself as a genuinely nice person...not fake, just nice. I have lost my temper with H and let him have it a couple of times over the last eight months, but most of the time I have been decent...probably too pleasant with him. I thought that I was taking the high road. I definately got walked on some but don't we all in this sitch...after all we are the ones trying to salvage a marriage while our WAS are doing whatever they darn well please.
Okay, so the other thing that I just had to share has to do with OW. If anyone has been following my sitch, this will make sense. A month ago, H showed up to a graduation party that I was at driving OW's car, but no OW. I was furious....I let him have it once and for all. We've only talked twice since because that was it for me. Anyway back to that night...I figured he dropped OW at one of his friend's house (he's done that before). Well, it turns out he dropped her off at a bar. I find it rather hilarious myself. My H picked her up in a bar, so if the shoe fits. I would never just walk into a bar by myself...especially in a town where I don't know anyone. Chalk one more up for me...she's living up to her reputation...she probably hit on another married man while she was there.
