Walking in a minefield

[Nomopo]

Hello WC. You are quite a character. I can honestly say I haven't run into anyone else on these Boards yet quite like you. A few things:

First, the "5 the hard way" sounds like it is meant for a business negotiation as opposed to a failing M. I haven't read it, but that's my guess.

I could be wrong, but I definitely think she was coming on to me. Nice.

You're probably right.

and a prominent male voice that I can only assume was OM.

Or, you could stop assuming since you really don't know and always assume the worst. Just a thought, but if you prefer to torture yourself, have at it.

W could not get off the phone fast enough (from guilt or indifference is anyone's guess).

Yep, once again you can't know but knock yourself out assuming the worst. (Maybe she was in the can. )

This was my one and only "shot" tonight, but I really meant it: Rather than saying goodnight or bye, as has been my custom, I very clearly said the word "Goodbye". No malice or anything, just my way of saying it's truly over.

So, anyway, she loves OM. Big deal.

Her car is still on the verge of collapse, her creditors are now calling 3 times a day, virtually all of her "friends" have abandoned her, and now the father of her child would be much, much happier if he never had to hear from her again. Good going, W. And good luck.

Don't take this the wrong way (it really is meant to help), but you don't sound like someone who is done. You sound like someone who is hurting (I'm sorry, and we all know how oyu feel, really), and like someone who wants to convince us (or, really, yourself), that he is done. Why is that? What's wrong with trying? You know you still care about and love her. You've said as much previously (even after telling us you're done). And you know what? I respect that about you. It takes a big man to still love someone like a WAS who has dumped on the LBS and said so many hurtful things and who acts so much like an alien. Still caring about your W and loving the mother of your S tells me you are a good, no great, person who is trying to do the right thing. So why do you want to try to pretend like you're done so quickly? I know the pain is intense, but can it get worse? I guess it can last longer, but the intensity of the pain does diminish if you'll let it. It's obviously your choice, but something tells me you will feel differently about being done (and sooner rather than later).

Do take a week off. Try not to think about it. I suspect you will actually think about your R/M/W and sitch a lot despite your claims of being done. It ain't that easy to wash your hands of it. So rather than deny those feelings, decide what you REALLY want and then go for it.

Your friend,
Nomo