It's going to be a bumpy ride

[Trixi]

he said "No, no. I need to hear this sort of thing."

sounds like he's still wanting you to be his concience and "talk him out of it".

I wish it were that easy. He was irritated later with me being upset. This morning he was also kinda pissy with me when I got a little distressed about his impending departure.

I have tried a couple of times to suggest that he not go; he has made it crystal clear that he MUST leave and he doesn't think we'll be reconciling. (But he's open to it.)

I am having a hell of a time acting "as if". I am scared out of my mind.

I dont think this is the time for "acting as if". I think this is the time for standing firm and letting him know what kind of boundaries you have, and then STICKING TO THEM!!

remember: he has been asking you to set moral standards, the whole time. he's been asking you to basically yell at him and get a backbone, for months now.
He will not respect you, if you dont show that you have moral standards, and stick to them.

I don't think he seeks moral standards. When I have suggested church he has declined. He WANTS to go out to bars and flirt. I think he seeks for me stand up for myself; not because of 'morals' but because of self esteem.

What are your moral standards? how many times did you go out, before you had sex, for example?

We did not wait nearly long enough. There are is no moral high ground from which to stand. When I tried to put any limits on dating and sex during our separation, he flat out refused. His big compromise was to agree that he wouldn't have sex for at least 2 months.

I think your approach to sex with him should be consistent with what he thinks your moral standards are, to some point. If it was a long time until you had sex... i think you would be very justified.. and almost EXPECTED by him.. to have no sex whatsoever while he is living separately.
If on the other hand, you jumped in the sack relatively quickly(by your own choice)... it kinda gets blurry. unless what he's been implying, is that he wants you to show more moral firmness than you have been previously.

That's my guess on things, anyway. good luck,and supportive prayers for you.

I appreciate the prayers. Really, I think he means for me to be a little b1tchy with him; not take any guff.

how's your situation going? Did the 'child suport' issues get resolved?