However, if he can save face by saying, in his mind "I am only doing this for my W because she still needs the counselling" then so be it. Whatever works but I know in my heart we BOTH need to continue on this path for a while yet
You can't go wrong if you talk about YOURSELF. As I've suggested before, talk about your feelings, why this is important to you instead of what your H needs, and why this should be important to him. Take your focus off him and put it on you.
Before you go to the ST tomorrow, why not take a few minutes and look over that list of feelings and identify the five or six that are the strongest right now. Then compose some statements that clearly express where YOU are in this, how you feel, how you want to feel. And try to do this without making any statements about how he should change in order to bring this about. Challenging, yes, but as soon as you tell him how he needs to change, the walls and the shields go up, don't they? And then he's deaf to what you're saying. Just talk about you. Let the ST talk to him about him.
If you take the position that you're committed to your own happiness, peace, satisfaction, self-esteem, contentment and that you intend to do whatever it takes to achieve that for yourself, and make no mention of him as being responsible for your happiness, THAT will likely get his attention.
