There's nothing any of us can say to make you feel better about the EA. For me, the fact that my W was more comfortable opening up to another man was as painful as the fact that she screwed him. However, I can say that you can and will get over it. You'll never forget and it'll take a while to process the pain, but it will pass.
Go for a walk, run, lift. Get some of those hormones out.
She said a lot of hurtful things and it sounds like she doesn't really know her own mind or what she really wants. However, she has agreed to read the book. Maybe not proper "DBing" from the standpoint of those of us with spouses ready to leave, but if she reads it and is committed to trying -- ride that out. Take her at face value. Don't prejudge that she's just humoring you. If she is, you'll discover that in the end. If she isn't, if you hold her at arms length/don't trust her, it could turn into a self-fulfilling prophesy. Either way, you're doing the best you can. Even if she walks now, YOU'VE done what you could to save the M. You've changed. You've become more open. If she refuses to see that and react positively to them, that's HER decision. Not yours.
It's amazing that our spouses decided to ignore us and find happiness elsewhere, without ever checking with us to see if we could be happy together.
Hang in there. It'll get better.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
