you handled the list with class, that is the answer to all of it, handle it with class.
i can't imagine her trashing the place, but then again my w left things a total mess, but think about this, if she wants that dresser where do you think she is going to put your stuff in it, on the floor. don't take it personal, its just moving. we have all done it and it gets messy.
i wouldn't ask for a key, and then try and work as a team on the mortgage. not sure if this works for you, but i try and never call my place, my place, i refer to it as our place and she has used it in the past, and hopefully tomorrow she does again.
does she take things? sure, but remember they are all objects. i had missing diapers, tp, etc... she needs these things and if she would let me i would buy them. just objects.
you know, i'm not sure about packing her stuff up, it says one thing, but is also an action of help. that is a tough one, only you know. plus family will be there, bil's could enforce, see he has your stuff ready to go, your doing the right thing. or, look he did this for you. well don't get lost in the details, its the big picture that you have to pay attention to.
