Separated from WAW

[dlt1]

6. LET HER FEEL PAIN. This one has been extraordinarily hard for me. I hate to see W in any kind of pain. My natural instinct is to comfort her and tell her that everything will be okay. But if you do that, you're showing her that she is in charge and you have no control. You're showing her that she has nothing to lose, because you'll always be there. Let her hurt. Let her heart crave happiness. If, like me, you simply can't stand it, change the subject to something lighter. Smile and be happy. She will have to deal with the pain on her own. Remember, the ball is in her court. Don't make it an easy decision for her.

Best of luck,

EAA

Thanks EAA, this point really is the hardest for me. I can't stand seeing her hurt. She has to and will I know, but I would rather endure a lifetime of hurt than see her endure a second.

Our date was just short of fabulous. Didn't hurt that her driver, Tony Stewart, one the race. I believe I am now his biggest fan! We laughed, we talked, we reminisced, it was great. From things she said, I believe she would like this to work, but does not FEEL like it will. Told me her mother was supportive at first, but is now telling her how she should feel, and badgering her to make this work no matter what. I refuted MIL's overtures. reaffirmed that no on ecan tell her how to feel. Man, I was freaking out the whole time thinking "what am I saying? MIL is soooo right!" But told W I was finally grasping the fact that no one can tell another how to feel. You can disagree, but can not admonish another's feelings. I keep telling myself this was perfect. But...her undertone says to me she is convinced her feelings for me are platonic at best. I have decided she will be my best friend. Period. I went in for hug, laid it back to an arm around the shoulder hug. She leaned in, did not reciprocate, but no withdrawal. It was a friendly hug. She is my best friend. But am I hers. I am me, and will extend myself to her as a great friend. No more hopes for more. I want more, but I must put that aside. This sux, but too bad!
We have planned a long get together next Sunday. I have a week, to really let this sink in. While I'm flying high right now, have a feeling this is the apex of teh roller coaster, just about to plunge. I'm not sure how to reenforce these actions. I appreciate everyone's candor here. It's so easy to adivse/comment on your sitch's. I am thankful you do the same for me. So wierd being this happy, and this anxious/scared at the same time! Life ain't boring, that's for sure.