Klm you are doing great! I think it was a good idea to ask him to help you with the tv. Just something small and not too needy. I often email with the I respect your opinion thing when I ask for something. I will say they run hot and cold. Sometimes my H will be resistant to something to look at or fix, other times fine. I am not my best counsel, last Sunday he was here and I felt the need to tell him that maybe we should sell the house as my own anxiety was surfacing and that backfired. On the advice of my trusted therapist we may file jointly pro se although this gives me a panic attack just typing it. The purpose of this is to keep him away from the lawyers and give us the 120 day waiting period as required here to sit around and see if he will want to come back. The other 2 times he moved out it never went this far... The hope is once we "settle" a lot of the financial things he will stop being so angry and calm down. The other part is my therapist feels if we give money to lawyers it will just be wasted as he does not think this is going to happen. I hang on to that.
I will say with experience that pleasant encounters go a long way. The first time he was moved out he drove round trip 50 miles from his downtown apt to get a putty knife and a few tools... yours came to get a cord? He wanted to see you. It hard to act like you are not connected. My H has told me I was so nice to him when he came over and he came back because I asked him (not true) and he saw something in my eyes... this may help you.
I do not want a roomate either. I never had one in college and it just brings up a lot of new problems. I'm too old for that!
I went last night with a girlfriend to a Taste of event downtown at a lake with resturants food music etc. I do not want to be single! These were all people my age, well off, tanned and seeming to have good time and I felt so disjointed. I am very social, and for the first time I can remember I just felt so out of place and lost. I had all I could do not to call H and say I miss you and I don't want to do this, when I got home at 10pm! I didn't and I am telling you this as the temptation to do stuff like this is high.
I did get an email that he was happy with the insurance that I took car for the cars and the house. He said he would come over cut down 2 dead trees the agent pointed out may be a problem. Of course he also wanted to know if I made my mind up about a settlement issue. And now he is not in his apt when I called say I left him an email which is what we do when we email.
Klm hang in there! I saw your email about hugs etc. You can do this! You hung in there while he was in Iraq and I know that was not the same as this but you are strong. Let him miss you, we already know you miss him. I want mine back too!
