I do not know how to get in contact with you. You do know who I am, I have just changed my username for this post. I miss your updates, and I am so very sorry about your grandmother. I want to say thank you for all that you have done. I do hope you are reading this. Or I hope that someone calls you and tells you to check the board. I became a better mother b/c of you. I uses to just let my H come and go as he pleased never really knowing how horrible it was for my kids. And you always took such a strong stand, standing behing your children. Thank you for that. I am not a troll, I am someone who posts here all the time. I have fallen for someone on the board. I am sick to my stomach over it. I know the same thing happened to you, and you did not get the back lash, that so many here have gotten in the past. It is b/c you are an honest person. If you can please post here. And tell me what I should do. I know this sounds desperate, and I know that you wanted all of this to die down, and I know that are not posting anymore. You might figure our who I am, b/c i have emailed you before. I am sorry to be rude in anyway, I just wanted an update on how you are, and how you are handling the no contact with the person from the board. thank you
I could not for the life of me, find my old password. (sigh)
Hi, I think i know exactly who you are.
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I miss your updates, and I am so very sorry about your grandmother.
Thank you , I miss her so much, I can't put it into words.
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I became a better mother b/c of you.
You became a better mom, all b/c of you sweetie.
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If you can please post here. And tell me what I should do.
I am no one to tell you what to do, I can tell you my own experience, and give you some sort of advice, that is only my Point of view.
I think that your H filed, last year, and never really did any touch and goes. He left you for the OW, and didn't look back. I am sorry mamma, I know how that feels.
I know you really fell in love with the Married man from the board. I know that his wife is one that comes and goes.
I know that this married man, tells you he is done with his wife, and then goes back to her.
And you are there as his friend, but also kinda just waiting.
I am so very sorry. I am so very sorry, b/c you have to get this heart ache again, and so soon.
I know you felt so horrible, you also did not want to become what we read about here. YOu did not want to become some OW. It was the last thing you ever thought could happen. I don't see you that way.
I do have this advice for you, let him go.
Do the NC.
YOu need to grieve this. Remember he is home with his wife. And within a few days. His, I love you words, will be just that words. A memory for you.
He will fall back in love with his wife, in no time. And you will be removed from his heart and his mind.
And I know that hurts. You can do it. YOu did it once before, you can do it again.
Your mind will focus on other things soon.
Be an example from now on, not to let yourself "fall" for someone that is married, even tho they convince you it is over.
You need to be divorced, and given some time, and they need to be divorced and give them some time.
You will go thru all the stages, heart ache, anger, shock. It is all the same.
I am sorry.
But it is a lesson that we are learning, and it is a hard one. But hey, look, I can give this advice now, and hopefully, someone will listen, and think twice before taking that leap.
You will be ok again. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty b/c your divorce is going to happen.
Don't let anyone make you feel like a quitter.
Leave him alone. You should be number 1. You should have someone that is all yours. He never did file lovey, that should tell you something. It was not as serious for him as maybe it was for you.
You are sweet for reaching out to me. I am sorry you are so torn up about this, that you felt you had to change your username, but I totally understand it.
Focus on those babies, just think you will be so much aware now.
Hope this helps.
Lissett
Live Simply Love Generously Care Deeply Speak Kindly Leave the rest to God
Gosh I am so sorry that both of you find yourselves in similar places...it is doubly hard not only going through the MLC with your H but to also find someone here who breaks your heart as well.
Lissett, I think it is kind of you not to bash the other person on the board...very classy. I think that is a testament to who you are...I think that is why you are sooo loved on this forum...because you are love and sunshine. The other person on the board I am sure was so attracted to you...like a bee to honey...
I know how much the both of you must hurt...feeling like you are nothing to the person that told you how much you meant...
But you are both strong...and again, I think that is why the men on the board were attracted to you both...because you are strong in ways they are not. Lissett, you have made the decision to go NC and I think that is a good decision. You DO need to be alone...with your thoughts...with no one around to cloud the water.
You will both learn...and live and you will find the love that you dream about...the love you yearn for. One day all those who lost you will feel sad for the love they could have had...
Fools.
Valentine
Aug '06: H moved out July '08: H had a kid with the OW May 12 '09: emancipation day
"Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." -Ferris Bueller
Scaredagain, I know you didn;t ask for my advice, but I will offer it none the less. I want to say this to Lissie as well; Ladies, you must give yourself time to heal from what you have been through. Neither one of you have done that yet. I know how easy it is to fall for someone, especally after you have been hurt and are hurting. I understand completely where you both are comming from with this. Don't worry about what anyone thinks about what you have done or didn;t do, to hell with them! Ladies, please give yourselves at least a year to process things and to really heal from your emotional wounds before you consider pursuing another relationship. Use this time to reflect on your past marriage, look at the things you did well, and look at the things you didn;t do well. Improve on the things you didn;t do well when you enter a new relationship. Ladies, after you have taken the time to heal, take your time in getting into a new relationship, be friends for awhile first, see if someone can be your friend for awhile before it goes somewhere else. Just my advice to you both, I hope I didn;t make you mad by butting in, but I thought I would throw my thoughts on this out there to you both.
Lissie, I did read what you posted and you did say pretty much what I did, sometimes its good to hear it from someone else. Life is tough, things don't work out sometimes, but we have to keep plugging along! I hope you start hanging out more, we don't always agree on things, but I do respect your opinons and you have helped a lot of people on here.
[quote=braveheart]I hope you start hanging out more, we don't always agree on things, but I do respect your opinions and you have helped a lot of people on here. [/quote
Lissie,
I miss you and I agree with the statement from braveheart. I hope you are doing well.
God bless you.
Everything happens for a reason, maybe Dad needs to find that it isn't better out there, he needs to realize how good he had it here. Maybe he will find God and that is the most important thing when he finds Him he will know he is supposed to come home.
