Your both right in a lot of ways. W, as you can guess, likes to be both high in expectations and the best at things. So, Ks tend to be, "well what's the use, it won't be good enough". Also, they pick up real good on the martyr thing and can wear it as good as her. So essentially Ks usually won't do much, but are "wounded" if you call them out on it.
Mommy time? Let's see, sports twice a week with girls from church. Scrapbooking once a week. Lunch and parties with co-workers, check. Trips to Costco by herself, check. Mommy and Daddy trips away to baseball games, check. Participating in plays and chiors, check. But then she complains about being too busy and not enough sleep. Go figure.
For her BD we have bought her manicures/pedicures. However what she came back with was not usually age appropriate, so I stopped that. She is the best dressed in the family, only D16 comes close, but still well past her. Never in my life did I ever think I would have to debate in my mind if I should talk to my wife about age appropriate or modest enough clothes. Needless to say D16s clothes push the edge more than it should.
Just the other day D5 kind of caught me off guard. She came over, hoped up on my lap and said "Daddy, I love you the most, even more than Mommy". Even though I was glad to hear that I was very concerned about how I should respond to that. The best I could come back with was, "Daddy loves all his family very much", then gave her a big hug. I really don't want my kids to have to choose and I don't want to put down on W. I felt joy and sadness in that event.
Any how girls, I have tried to be very good to my W over the years. How anyone could feel short changed after all I have done for her, is beyond me. Like yourself WCW, I do see some good responses sometimes, but I'm very tired of being treated like something that has been "settle for". I miss the things that W use to do for me when we were dating because she wanted to be with me or missed me when I wasn't there. Now it's more like if she could just figure out how to get my paycheck and get rid of me things would be just fine for her. Unfortunately, in this day and time, that's pretty much standard practice. We have a guy at work who has M and D so many times we tell him he would have been better off just buying his girlfriends a house and moving on, since that is usually how it ends.
Perhaps I wouldn't be so bent about this, but W was seeing OM, had OM working on our house, while we were buying and moving into our house. Now a days W says that were never moving out of this house, she is never moving again. So, what do you think her plan was. Even though OM seems out of the picture, I don't think W has any intension of ever moving. So let's see, where does that put me. In some ways I am struggling daily to keep a desire to have a close R with kids. With what W has looming over my head in the cards, why bother. I'll pay for them, just never enjoy them.
Recently I was at some friends house and the W made a good observation. She said that her impression of me is that," I give it all now and will do anything for W and Ks. However, your not the type to stick around once it's over." I had to admit, she was right. All my R with GFs growing up, I was into the R till it was over. Then, I would walk away and never really look back. I was not a patch it up type of guy. There was never an "on again, off again" R.
She said that she had said that to my W. "If you plan on calling it quits with PS, don't plan on him being there facilitate your choice, he will move on". So needless to say, somedays I don't have a problem with things being a little rough on W. She thinks it's tough now, just wait till you go for D.
Now that I've thrown that out there, let me say this. I do still love W and I'll do what I can to make her happy. But I don't know how long I can let her beat me down. As you all know it's tough being in a spot, not knowing if W is your friend or enemy. With some of the garbage that goes on in this world, I'm surprised when I wake up some morning next to W without something buried in my heart or head.
Just had to lay it out there a bit so I can get to sleep. Sorry my DB friends have to hear these trials. On a positive note, I'm going with S14 on a camping trip. One week of no DB trials, should be good. Hopefully the house and family will be intact when I get home, no surprise paperwork.
