Yeah one side of this sitch is crazy. I still lean toward it's their side.
Our problems are so solvable compared to some out there but he has to get past his feelings and be able to open up and trust me again. Don't know if he can do that or not.
Well I'm going to bed and pull the covers over my head. Probably cry some more and hopefully fall asleep.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
If you all don't mind in the course of your prayers please pray for my H and his family and me. His grandmother has been given 24 hours to live. She was sent home yesterday to die we just didn't realize it would be this quick. Hopefully my H will let me just BE there for him during this but I don't know that he will. Course I'd like him to be there for me too. This is really hard as I loved her like she was my own. We're going to see her in a couple hours so any extra prayers would be appreciated.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Well about an hour ago my H's grandma died. He was actually here when he got the news. We had gone to see her earlier they had her on pain medicine so she didn't know. This is just so incrediable sad.
My H won't let it out in front of anyone even me so he left to go to his apartment. As he was leaving my S3 just started crying his eyes out. He wanted daddy he didn't want him to leave. This is the first time he's done this. Then my S7 started crying because gran is dead. I felt like calling my H and telling him he needed to turn around and come back. I didn't. And at the moment we are all as ok as we can be.
Through out the day my H let me rub his back, arm, head. And after we got the news I asked him if I could have a hug. He told me I wasn't allowed to cry on him. So I got a hug and held in my tears. He even squeazed me while hugging me. He is so crushed. I'm glad he let me be there a little bit for him. That's all I want is to just BE there.
This is sooo sad.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
When he got back to his place he logged on to the computer and talked to me the rest of the night. He is in so much pain. I said something about loosing someone is never easy and he said neither is realizing your running out of people to loose. Meaning he has cut off the rest of his family, his oldest doesn't want anything to do with him, and he no longer has me and our kids because he left. He went to work today. They are making arrangements for her funeral which will be out of town since this isn't where she's from. And last night he sounded like he didn't want to go mainly because of his family. I told him not to make the decision based on them to make it for him. He wouldn't have to spend every waking minute with them. Oh and not to decide last night. That he needed to just take the night and grieve how he needed to and just be.
Hold myself together. Easier said then done. I fell apart I don't know how many times yesterday. Today is just starting so we'll see...
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
Well he's emailed me all day and called me on his lunch. I've handled all of our arrangements to go. I booked the hotel, printed out directions, am ordering flowers for the funeral, took care of getting a sitter for the kids, and just being there for him to talk too. It feels really good to be able to just bet there. And he thanked me for taking care of everything.
Am I looking at all of this as positives? No not really. This situation isn't about trying to get him back this is about being there for him during this time. Would it be great if he could one day look back on this and notice? Sure. Since one of his reasons for leaving was I wasn't there for him. All I know is right now he's in pain and I will be there for him to help him thru when he'll let me. And it actually feels good to be able to do something for him even though we aren't together.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
I am sorry about your H's grandmother. You are so wonderful to open yourself up and be there for him. He will notice and it will help as he will now know you do support himand are there for him. Don't forget to look after yourself and call a friend so you get a chance to mourn as well.
With all that is going on around your place you need to take a day of rest just for yourself. Way to much going on plus you situation with husband. Get out the duct tape for some peace and quiet.
M 41 W 33 S8 S17 Bomb 3/11/07 S 3/28/07 New beginning? 8/31/07
Yeah I'm not sure when I'm going to get a day just to myself. This is supposed to be H's weekend with the kids but her funeral is on Saturday out of town so I don't know if he'll want them after we get back or not. The last weekend that was his I had a soccer tournament so I had one and he kept the other. So it's been a good while when I've had just me time. Other then at night after the kids are in bed. My H is taking w-f off work. I offered if he wanted to hang out with the kids on Wednesday he some he could. Thinking maybe they'd distract him some. He didn't say yes or no. So we'll see.
W: 33 H: 37 SS: 14 S: 7 S: 3 married 08/09/97 Seperated 11/02 05/07 H moved back 8/26/07
