I always have a read of my previous posts before I post to see where I was up to. Last post said ...
Originally Posted By: TNP
Really not too caught up in what w is up to nowadays, just trying to get on with my life now.
BULLSH*T!
Sounded good but I guess I have slipped a bit the last few days. Well whats been gong on, let me think.
W still distant unless she wants to pick my brains or wants something. W has gone away leaving kids for an overnighter with om. Took d16 on my bike to her bf's place so I could finally meet his parents. This is where it gets interesting people.
Pulled up outside and bf's mum comes out bf's mum 'hello etc, you got time to meet my hubby'. me 'Shure plenty of time, would be nice etc'.
We go into the house bf's mum 'Hubby! Hubby here's d16's dad' bf's dad 'Hi how are you' me 'good, nice to meet you' bf's dad 'you didn't come on the yellow Ducati ' me 'Thats not my bike' pause 'gotta go, nice meeting you' I made my exit bf's mum 'you forgot your bag'
The mention of om in the first words bf's dad said just fuc8ed me right over. I was caught totally unprepared and just had to get out of there before the tears came and they sure did. I bawled my eyes out I was just totally overcome with grief, sobbing, chest heaving, cursing as quietly as I could whilst gloving up and putting my helmet on. I just hammered the bike up their street still bawling and cursing bf's dad for his lack of tact, my w and life in general. I did have the presence of mind not to kill myself or crash the bike and I later I pulled up at a secluded spot near the family home still caught up in the emotional storm. I had a cigarette and paced around, calming myself down.
I've gotta laugh at the craziness of it all now. I can't believe how I reacted, wonder what bf's mum & dad thought of my behavior. One day they, my w and I may have a laugh about it but I am starting to seriously doubt it.
The last week or so I have been thinking more and more about me filing. I really need some closure here. I know this sit. is not my idea and if I don't want the d I should not be the one to file. But I still keep mulling over the idea, 'file, go on file'. I'm thinking that the w has had little in the way of repercussions from this. She has the house, car, children a government that supports her so she doesn't have to get a job. While we are still legally married nothing has to happen with the assets. Not that there is any sheep stations or anything but I do not think the banks will refinance her given that she has not worked for such a long time and has not found one in the last 21 months since the bomb. Sounds a touch vindictive on my part I know.
All this talk of filing seems to go against the principle of handing my will and life over to a higher power though doesn't it.
