Sorry I have not posted. It has been a very weird several days. First of all everything that happened this week was compounded by it being that time again. So of course emotions are very high.
My H flipped back to not knowing what he wants to do. He is still not in love with me but loves me and cares about me. He is not sure if we will work out or not. Weird switch from last week when he told me that he loved me and that he wanted to work things out. I wish these MLCers could just make up their mind.
So it was an emotional Tuesday and Wednesday. Yesterday was better for me but he was very depressed. Went shopping to buy clothes and left the mall with an anxiety attack. But he did call me after he left to go shopping and said when I get home can we talk. He said he had nothing to talk about but he wanted to just talk.
When he came home he talked not a whole lot. He was tired, I guess instead of shopping he went to do some "mindful meditation". I am not sure what that is. But it is something our c told him about. He said it makes him tired.
I was spinning on Tuesday and Wednesday (out of control). But yesterday I picked myself up and I am back on track. We are going to a joint C session today. I am interested to see how that goes. I will update when I am done.
Hopefully, everyone is well and thank you all for stopping in on my old thread. Hope to see more of you here.
Mimi
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
Hi mimi. I wish these men did not think love can be switched on and off with a switch. Why are they so impatient? I think it is because they are so desperately unhappy. Hang in there and give him lots of space.
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
I wish I knew why they feel they can turn it on and off. I am in a very bad way right now. I feel like I am spinning out of control and can not stop it. The only thing I can think of is because it is that time of month and emotions are high.
I got a little angry again last night. By the end of the anger he was telling me that he thinks about what I am going through and he explained to me what he thought I was thinking. He said he I feel like I am walking on egg shells with him and that I never know what to say to him for fear of being yelled at and threatened(that he will leave again). He told me that he tries to put himself in my position and it would really suck.
I guess it is good that he is trying to look at my side of it.
He went shopping for clothes last night. The stuff he brought home is nothing that I would have ever suspected he would have bought or worn. Aeropostale, Gap, and EMS. It is not so much the stores but the clothes in them. My H is a very conservative dresser and the clothes in these stores are more trendy and teen agers tend to wear them.
For some reason this made me upset. Why? Maybe it is the emotions.
He is going on a business trip and he is leaving tomorrow. Maybe this will be some good time alone without him. Some time to pull myself out of the tail spin I am in.
I need help.
Mimi
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
Sorry things are rough now. I sure know what that spinning feels like. My H has bought all those "trendy" clothes also. He looks like a idiot wearing those.
You sound like you need a take care of yourself day, i.e. massage, shopping, nails done, pedicure, male stripper (just kidding) etc...
Don't let him get to you, you are beautiful, smart, level headed - this is about him not you.
Me: 45 H: 43 Married: 19 years Dated 05 years Bomb: 11/06 OW - "I love her, but still want you as my friend"
I hope I don't look like an idiot. I recently bought some tops from Aeropostle. I have trouble finding clothes small enough for me in regular stores. I pick the ones that are basics like t-shirts or polos.
mimi, you are doing great. Just give him space, space, space and don't act like you are judging him or his new clothes at all. (They notice the eye rolling and eyebrow raising, believe it or not.)
Me45 H45 D13 S10 together-23 years married-21 years MLC Divorced 10/3/07 Married to a wonderful new man.
He is not happy with me. I basically told him that I was giving up my dreams of a life with him and the kids so that he could be happy. I told him that we can not both have what we want and one has to be the one to give in. So I would do that for him because I love him so much.
I do not deserve any of this. I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. Not as if I am a yo-yo to play with.
So I am going to let go and give up what I want.
I am not sure what he is going to do now.
I told him he could stay until something comes up for me or we sell the house. Money can not support two houses.
Mimi
Bomb 3/31/2007 Moved out 04/22/2007 Moved back in 06/11/2007 Wants to stay and try 09/04/2007
I'm so feeling for you right now, especially because I'm feeling the same way. Although for me, its all going on in my head, because my H and I haven't been talking about anything substantive - my thoughts turned there when I discovered traded emails stating ILY/LYT between them. I haven't said anything about them to him. I'm trying to figure out what to do if anything.
Quote:
I do not deserve any of this. I deserve to be loved and treated with respect. Not as if I am a yo-yo to play with.
You are right, we don't deserve any of this! We will be treated with love and respect some day either by our current Hs, or just by everyone else around us. I think most all of the Hs will come out of their fogs and start treating us with love and respect. Since your has stopped (?) with the OW, it may be easier for him when he does.
You can let go and that is probably best, but you don't have to give up!
Nature Girl M 40 H 40 M 15, T 19 D11 S9 bomb 3/07 (MOW)
