Divorced but wanting her back

[Nugget]

I have been rather busy the past couple of days with things (looking for a new building for my business, totaling my car in an accident) that have drawn my attention away from missing my wife and I think it has actually been very beneficial to our sit.

Yesterday, I meet my wife at Starbucks to drop off our son to her, for her weekend visitation and to get my daily dose of "Venti Carmel Light Frappuccino, No Whip, No Drizzle (yeah I am hooked). And she asked me if I wanted to go get dinner (she never asks, it's always me asking), I was kind of surprised. But, more surprised at my response. I told her I would love to but, I had to go meet a guy to pick up my new PPC phone (I easily could have done it the next day). I was shocked at my response and sort of proud. She was also, she was at a loss of words for a half a second.

Later that night my son called from her cell phone to say hi to me (she has not had him call me in the past 2 weeks since we have been separated, I always call them). Me and him chatted for about 10 minutes, which for those of you with 5 year olds will agree that is a long time for them to talk on the phone. My son then asked my wife if she wanted to talk to daddy and surprisingly she said yes, she usually says no. Me and her had casual conversation for about 10 minutes also. At the end of our call I told her to have a very restful and pleasant evening and she said you to, oh and hey if your not busy tomorrow do you want to go get breakfast with us. Once again I was shocked. It has been forever since she has initiated the idea of us going somewhere. It is always me. Needless to say I agreed. I did not want to say no twice in 2 days.

Anyway, everyone says to back off, give her space, etc., etc. But it is a tough habit to break. Especially for those of us that are co-dependent on the companionship of our spouse like myself. But, from pure dumb luck and the fact that my brain has had to focus on other matters besides my R, I have been forced into backing off and giving her space. And you know what. I am seeing small signs that it is true. That is what I need to do. It won't be so much of a challenge for me, now that I know it can have positive affects. And the fear I have had about giving her space and that she will perceive that as if I have moved on and I am interested in her anymore, is fading.

Listen to the advice of other. Dare to go against your instinct. Be patient. Be positive. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. That is what I am telling myself now.