Sorry for what you are going through. I hae to give my W credit in this area. she has NEVER talked to him in front of me. It is really hard to belive with the amount of time she taked to him 3 months ago (back when I checked phone records).
you are doing good.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I went home for supper she was making lasagna planned to eat at 6:00. I got there and they had already ate, w is on the computer. She said they couldnt wait. W/these stupid hours this week I thought it would be nice to eat together. So i sat at the table and ate and left w/out another word to her.
Before work I asked what she is telling the kids about her leaving to see om. She said the same as last time (going to mineapolis w/college girl friend). I really dont want to be home when she returns but it is on a tuesday. I may take the day off work and take kids to valley fair (thats in mineapolis). I really dont know if I can afford it though. Any other suggestions? I dont know what time she gets in.
As far as her talking to om she does it in her room or in basement. I have walked in on her several times(not on purpose) I didnt know she was in there. Or she will be getting something in kitchen and keep talking to him while she gets it, then leaves. When i hear her ringtone for an incoming text message my heart stops. this happens all the time and really bothers me. She does text back right in front of me.
I think while she is gone i will get used to our bed again and tell her she is welcome to sleep in it but to stay on her side.
Me 37 W 37 D21 D17 D12 S8 grandparents 7/07 boy Married 16 yrs last June 07 Bomb dropped 4/07
"Do what you feel in your heart to be right-for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't", Eleanor Roosevelt
I went home for supper she was making lasagna planned to eat at 6:00. I got there and they had already ate, w is on the computer. She said they couldnt wait. W/these stupid hours this week I thought it would be nice to eat together. So i sat at the table and ate and left w/out another word to her.
Good work.
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Before work I asked what she is telling the kids about her leaving to see om. She said the same as last time (going to mineapolis w/college girl friend).
Is that a lie? Is her girlfriend going with her?
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I really dont want to be home when she returns but it is on a tuesday. I may take the day off work and take kids to valley fair (thats in mineapolis). I really dont know if I can afford it though. Any other suggestions? I dont know what time she gets in.
Find out when she's coming back. Just ask her around what time her flight gets in. If she asks why, you tell her you just want to make sure she gets in OK. Where does the OM live?
Then take the kids on a cheap outing. Picnic? Rock climbing? Hiking? Field trip to interesting town? Swimming?
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As far as her talking to om she does it in her room or in basement. I have walked in on her several times(not on purpose) I didnt know she was in there. Or she will be getting something in kitchen and keep talking to him while she gets it, then leaves.
Ok....
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When i hear her ringtone for an incoming text message my heart stops. this happens all the time and really bothers me. She does text back right in front of me.
Ask her to text message him not in front of you. Ask her to go to basement or her room. You are NOT invisible.
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I think while she is gone i will get used to our bed again and tell her she is welcome to sleep in it but to stay on her side.
Explain to me why you are sleeping in the basement when SHE's the one having an affair.
If you want, go-ahead and sleep YOUR bed. Move your clothes back in. If she wants "space", have her sleep in the basement.
Its a total lie the person she claims to be going with she avoids when we go to her town for a family reunion. She made it up for kids and evryone else. The only people that know the truth are her sister, another friend and their husbands.
I just got home from work she is upstairs talking to him all giggly and stuff. At the computer is her print out of travel document. Boy it sure would be fun to send her to Texas or Alaska on her return flight. No i won't do that. She Gets into Fargo on her return flight at noon we live 1hr away. We live in North Dakota and om lives in North Carolina.
I cant stop him from texting but I can ask her not to. One time he texted while we where all sitting eating supper. I confronted her later and she said how is he supposed to know we were eating. Personally I think he ment to but thats just my opinion.
I sleep in the spare room, two rooms down the hall. My clothes are still in our room. In the morning(when i'm on normal hours) I go in and get my clothes and she is still sleeping. Before I started db'ing and still doing all the wrong things (pushing her away) it was kind of an ultamatum either I move out or go in spare room so she can have space to figure things out(if she wanted om, single, or me). Also before I saw lawyer and know she cant kick me out.
This morning I told her I was going to take a class on rock climbing in Fargo on sat and d16 couldnt go she had to work. part of my gal. maybe I'll take my bike and hit the trails again. I just want to get home before d11 returns from grandma's house.
I really don't know what else I can do at this point.
Ask her not text in front of you, even if he texts. It's rude behavior even if it were just a friend texting during dinner. She doesn't need her cell phone at the dinner table. It's cruel to text your lover in front of your husband.
Since he's in NC, it'll be harder to have this relationship flourish.
So basicly I just do my own thing (gal), put up with her crap until I can't take it anymore, and or wait for Her Royal Highness to make her decision me or some one else. I am tired of her being on the pedistal these days.
I agree with Theo, It does not make a difference if it's the OM or a friend. At dinner next time this happens. AFTER she is through let her know in a nice voice that you would prefer she didn't text message during dinner. It's not a good example on manners for the kids...
maybe? I don't know
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
I need to get this out so I can know. I have never used yahoo messinger. I have seen my daughter on it. If you are talking to one person then you should need one open window, right? A couple days ago I walked up to w to talk to her while she was on yahoo or whatever, she closed two windows that looked the same with conversations on both. I didnt try to read them I dont want to know any more details. I was wondering if she is talking to more than one person.
I know this is probably concidered snooping but, its bothering me.
My stuff is in our room so i go in to get clothes or nap, whatever. Om sent her a small stuffed dolphen along with other crap. She sleeps with it and leaves it on the bed in plane view, I have started throwing it behind end table. Now she puts it under pillow usually, I still toss it behind end table.
Also we never had a web cam until om. she was hiding it until I asked her how it worked, cause software was on desk top for a week before i said anything. Then she started leaving it on the computer. So i toss it behind computer stand, she still leaves it on computer on occasion.
I guess there is one more thing, Would it do any good to tell her thank you for waking me up this morning talking to om loudly, laughing, and giggling way before I wanted to get up. She new I worked until midnight last night.
The loud talking is inconsiderate, just like the texting in front of you. Yes, you should stand up for yourself. I would not thank her, that is not saying what you mean. I would tell her the plain truth. That you need your sleep. This is your home. She should show consideration and not wake you up, especially with her affair. She should be as considerate to her family as she would be to a stranger. If a stranger were sleeping nearby, she would not be loud and wake them. You deserve no less consideration.
