In violation of LRT rules, I just got off the phone with my wife's step mother (I returned her call). She is a former social worker, and has worked in therapy before.
I initially went to them (her father and step-mom) before I discovered db.com & DR, asking them to intervene with her on behalf of the marriage. Since discovering db.com, I have not spoken to them about our marriage.
So today, she asked how things were going with M. I told her not well, same or worse. I didn't tell her about OM. What I did tell her is that I am concerned that WAW's dad is, in an effort to show love and support, saying or do things that enable the demise of the marriage (WAW told me that her father offered to help us get our marriage annulled in the Catholic church. I am also very worried that they will loan her $$ for an attorney).
I made it clear to her that, with one exception, I am not asking that the do or don't do anything. The exception is that I do not want anybody to push WAW toward me. I also made it clear that I will have a problem with anybody who facilitates or enables the demise of my marriage. I also explained that my wife is saying that she wants a D, when in fact, she may not want one at all. I told her to be skeptical of this D talk, and maybe she is telling herself and others in order to talk herself into something she is on the fence about.
Step-MIL made it clear to me that she is supportive of keeping our family intact, and she will make sure that FIL is also supportive of my efforts. I realize that this type of interference is not consistent with DBing, so please be gentle when you scold me. However, I know that step-MIL is a big believer in the sanctity of marriage, and that marriage should be for life. So, in a way, she is very much "one of us."
