I rarely get over to this bb (I'm on MLC), but was just browsing and your thread caught my eye b/c this is something I've been dealing w/ for 3 years now since H left, we are D now but I can't imagine sex w/ someone else while H is in my heart, which he still very much is (plus being Catholic adds another layer). Drives me crazy that H is missing my "frisky 40s" and that I seem to want/ think about the physical stuff so much now . . ..
Anyway -- the touch thing -- H left very abruptly (for good) and one of the things I didn't realize at the time was how much the sudden absence of touch (even non-sexual touch) was affecting me and how desperately I needed it. I must have a guardian angel b/c by a fluke I tried ballroom dancing after a couple months -- it definitely filled a need, I could be held and touched in a safe, non-threatening way that felt great. I highly recommend it for anyone who's feeling cut off physically but isn't interested in OP. There are other benefits as well -- exercise is one, and for me at that time in my life when I felt worthless b/c the person who had thought the most of me had walked away, being forced to watch myself in a mirrored wall for an hour at a time forced me to remember some good things about myself and get back to feeling like a whole person again. You also meet a lot of people and it is just good, clean FUN.
That was about 3 years ago, I still wrestle w/ the celibacy issue and yeah, some colognes are killer, but dance is my sublimation of choice and I'm not stopping any time soon!
