I'm really sorry for what you're dealing with. You sound resigned, but depressed--like you've gotten past the frantic part. And you're going to feel better still, although it doesn't seem like it now.
What a worse than useless church! I guess the angels of the congregation have to avoid contamination with the devils--as though we all didn't have a little touch of both in us. I'm trying to avoid all anger---but I got steam, and fire and brimstone, coming out my ears, reading your church story.
I think you did the right thing last night. I wouldn't answer the phone, either. I would join the Y, and I would check into other clubs in your area.
I know exactly what you mean about wanting to believe certain things for comfort--I know exactly. I'm not sure what to say about that, but you need all the comfort you can get.
Your husband has got to figure out where he wants to be. You've told him how you feel. I think he loves you. But you've absolutely got to do things for YOU now. You said you've tried GAL'ing, but you can't just try it. Don't let this mess--his mess--be your life. I don't think that anyone ever believes, while they're still in such hurt, how powerful it can be to detach and just have fun.
