H coming today, what do I do when he asks how I am

[SallyM]

thanks, 25yearsmlc. I printed this last night and read it about 3 times, and probably will read it 3 more today. you have a lot of wisdom to offer and I greatly appreciate it.

I feel a little more resolved this morning. and yeah, for now at least, his paychecks are still hitting the bank as always, and the bills are getting paid. very little has changed, except for him being here. which is huge. I do need to resign myself to it being over, or at least the strong possibility of it being over. and I need to truly move on, but oh how hard that is. will keep looking at the positives of that, keep doing my 180s, and see what is working/not working.

he does want me to do the hard part. I know that. he's like a little kid, doesn't want to do for himself that which is hard. and he resents me like crazy for not just doing it.

I was a little panicked this week because he is going away with her this weekend...at least that is my assumption. in fact, I half expected him to come here last night after he put the kids to bed (his mom would watch them) to have the d talk with me. he didn't. and so I expected it when he dropped the kids off. he didn't. I was upbeat, had been busy all morning (gym, grocery store, picking blueberries, etc) so was busy and in a good mood when he came by.

he was okay for the most part while he was here. he told me he was 90/10 for taking the job and got pissed when I asked one question (wasn't important, apparently, but I just asked what an acronym he used meant). so he left, had the decency to take his golf clubs (granted, he could and likely is golfing with her, but I was afraid he wasn't golfing at all and wouldn't think to even take them as a ruse). my youngest son started bawling after he left, wanted to say one more goodbye, so I called really quick and H sounded angry...really angry, that I called. he hadn't left angry, so that was weird.

overall things are status quo. except that the 2 youngest have told me there was a lady at the beach yesterday, and I'm sick that maybe she was there. I asked my 5 year old and he says no, but then he sounds confused by the question. so part of me wants to call H and ask if she was there, but I'm trying hard to not do that. I shouldn't, right?