Hi, hon me again. I had a long afternoon...got new homeowners insurance and cut that bill dowm.
So similar, I took 2000 in savings bonds we had in a joint safe deposit box, when H moves out and he was furious. We were going to joint counseling at the time and he ranted in there that he couldn't trust me. He is very responsible. All about respect and responsiblity of which he thinks I have neither. I pointed out that he had access to his ( joint property state) 401ks that had 350,000 in and I had to trust him with that. I told him the bonds were safe with me. If he wanted to cash them I would meet him and split it with him. I told him I couldn't sign them unless I had his death certificate, I said right in counseling, don't tempt me... He was also furious that I took 1500 out of our checking account that was to pay for a new plasma tv he bought 3 weeks before he moved out.... who buys a new guy dream tv and then moves out. I almost passed out when I called our cc company and found out he bought the exact same tv for now 1900 and charged it! I said you could have taken this one and got me a cheaper one at Sams. I don't care about the tv! I am telling you this as he is so conservative and good with money and then he does this stuff. They are not thinking rationally and do implusive things as we are not there to strike reason with them. Which is one of the things he admires and hates about me, I am so smart. I also had some cash he does not know about. Good thing. He was so angry he paid the mortgage and some things the first month but basically gave me about 200 to eat and told me I didn't need sattelite or dsl and to GET A JOB! The lesson is I never thought he would do that to me and I was near panic. I threatened to call employee assistance, he is a corporate manager and he would have died.
My gut instinct is for you to take the money and do what I did, say it safe with you. My H has never done this before as when he moved other times he lived on very little and I had the money. He finally gave me half his check. Said the tv was coming out of his half. He tried to get me to do a home equity loan to pay for divorce attorneys, NO and then trys to leverage me into a 401k loan where he gives me less than 25% of it to pay for attorneys, NO. He finally and I find this still shocking, take the money out and is going to pay the 401k penalty to the IRS. He took 13,000 out and the 10,000 to pay the penalty. I swear they go nuts. Learn from my lesson. I should have listened more to my therapist who wanted me to save more over the last years, not easy though. You can never have enough money! You can always use it together if you get to that point.
He is not good with money. Take it out. He will be angry but trust me they find something to be angry about anyhow and you could buy some peace of mind with the money. I am sorry this is so long, hard to gal when you go from somewhere of a great joint income to nothing in a month! I have been on here for years,just this round post and read. Stay in touch with me ok?
