Thank you IK. I don't really have anyone that I could ask to come along on the trip, so I ended up canceling.
Today has been awful, just awful. I was having a perfectly fine day at work, took a walk at lunchtime to a salad place I like. I called home on the way there to see how d7's playdate went (H is home w/kids today). He asked me to call back in a few minutes. I called as I was eating my salad, we discussed playdate (had a few laughs), how the day was going (on his end that is, he NEVER asks about my day anymore) and then he brought up the trip. Said he wasn't sure that we should go since he is thinking about s, didn't want me to think that everything was ok if we went, blah, blah, blah. I tried to keep my cool, said that I knew nothing had changed and I thought it would be nice to go for the kids. I said that maybe he didn't want to spend the time with me (bad DBing, I know). He said that wasn't it, it wasn't like he couldn't bear to be with me (paraphrasing here, of course). He didn't give me a yes or no answer about the trip and said he would call me later. Mr. wait-until-the-last-second made me wait until 15 minutes before cancellation time to discuss whether we would be going. Correction: I guess that makes him Mr. "Wait-until-the-last-15 minutes." So he tells me that he would like to go, the kids deserve it, but he feels like he doesn't deserve it. I said "What do you mean by that? Why don't you deserve it?" He told me that he didn't know if I'd want to go with him, if I knew that he'd been looking for apartments. I tried to stay cool and tell him that I figured he'd been looking, but then he told me that he thinks he has found a place. OUCH! That really knocked me on my butt. He hasn't made a decision yet though, but it's a furnished condo that's available after August 1. Luckily, at this point it was 5 minutes to cancellation without penalty time, so I told him I decided I didn't want to go away for the weekend and I would call him later. That was over an hour and a half ago and I have no desire to call him.
Tons of thoughts going through my head and I'm still at work. How could he even consider leaving his family? My poor kids. What kind of person makes that choice? How is he going to afford an apt? They must not have run a credit check because his credit is just awful. OK, I've got to go. Thanks for reading. I'll check in later.
