I am convinced she is possessed by the devil. There is no other explanation.
brain tumor. seriously, when h started acting all wonky and the affair came out, his mom thought he must have a brain tumor...it was like he was a completely different person. very bizarre. and I still haven't ruled it out.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
seriously, when h started acting all wonky and the affair came out, his mom thought he must have a brain tumor...it was like he was a completely different person.
It's a crazy world...my H's mother said the same thing. She thought that her son couldn't be acting like this on his own. There's no brain tumor...just a crazy OP that's taking over his mind.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
My W OM lives 2 states away. The more I digest what happened. My W was unhappy. I think she may have thought "I was happy W XBF maybe that is the problem" The OM (XBF) just wanted a lay. He took advantage of my W. I think there is actually a law against having sex with a person that is mentally unstable. Wouldn't be a hoot if My W snapped out of it and we were able to go after him for Rape? Naw won't happen. My W is coming around. Don't think is just because of the hernia, I started to see changes before I found out. I think we may have evolving to the GOOD FRIENDS stage. I KNOW she has not seen the OM. I don't know if she calls him or he calls her. It is soooo tempting to look but I am not.
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Yeah, so now you see what I am up against... OM wife is like me: refuses to commit full-blown adultery, but (UNLIKE me) would entertain an EA. She is at least as lonely as I am. We get along well... probably too well, and that is why I need to distance myself. Temptation is indeed an evil thing...
I am so glad to hear that things are improving for you. I am not where you are yet, but I am sloooowly getting there. I am less than two months into DBing, so I am still very much a greenhorn, and I am making a few mistakes still (I don't post all of my mistakes/backslides...).
Glad that you are not snooping. It's tough not to. A few minutes ago, I posted on another thread that I am a "recovering snooper." Now that I think about it, we ALL are!!! Otherwise we would not know of the affairs!
Thanks for being an inspiration to me, h. You (and so many others) give me hope.
I am convinced she is possessed by the devil. There is no other explanation.
brain tumor. seriously, when h started acting all wonky and the affair came out, his mom thought he must have a brain tumor...it was like he was a completely different person. very bizarre. and I still haven't ruled it out.
Personally, I prefer the 'abducted by evil extraterrestrials and replaced with an alien twin' theory.
When you see people here refer to crazy MLC talk as 'alien spew' - that's what they're talking about.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
About the back slides, No sitch is the same. So there is no "You should do it this way". So we try some thing it does not work we don't do it again, we try something else. If I looked at my W phone record. I may see that she has stopped calling the OM. I would feel a little better but I know we still have allot of work to do. If I see she is still calling him I may let it get me down. Notice I said "MAY" but we still will have allot of work to do. "Self talk" (that little voice in our head) is the single most controllable variable in determining our happiness or unhappiness, our feelings of being empowered or helpless. I read that the average human talks to him at the rate of 150-700 words a minute. Or about 50,000 words per day. It is impossible to stop this self talk. The problem is that most self talk is negative. Keep this in mind when you are inter acting with your W because something she might do is completely innocent but that negative self talk is making it bad. Making you take it personal. A vicious circle In turn you react negatively. do not say (I am making a few mistakes still) you are not making mistakes instead you (still see opportunities in your DBing tactics)
(how's that theo) Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
In violation of LRT rules, I just got off the phone with my wife's step mother (I returned her call). She is a former social worker, and has worked in therapy before.
I initially went to them (her father and step-mom) before I discovered db.com & DR, asking them to intervene with her on behalf of the marriage. Since discovering db.com, I have not spoken to them about our marriage.
So today, she asked how things were going with M. I told her not well, same or worse. I didn't tell her about OM. What I did tell her is that I am concerned that WAW's dad is, in an effort to show love and support, saying or do things that enable the demise of the marriage (WAW told me that her father offered to help us get our marriage annulled in the Catholic church. I am also very worried that they will loan her $$ for an attorney).
I made it clear to her that, with one exception, I am not asking that the do or don't do anything. The exception is that I do not want anybody to push WAW toward me. I also made it clear that I will have a problem with anybody who facilitates or enables the demise of my marriage. I also explained that my wife is saying that she wants a D, when in fact, she may not want one at all. I told her to be skeptical of this D talk, and maybe she is telling herself and others in order to talk herself into something she is on the fence about.
Step-MIL made it clear to me that she is supportive of keeping our family intact, and she will make sure that FIL is also supportive of my efforts. I realize that this type of interference is not consistent with DBing, so please be gentle when you scold me. However, I know that step-MIL is a big believer in the sanctity of marriage, and that marriage should be for life. So, in a way, she is very much "one of us."
