Wife gone...Is there hope (Part 2)

[Nomopo]

Strange,

A few thoughts:

Well it seems the talk that we were going to have is not going to happpen now. I got a txt message from W today saying that she has spoken to a lawrer today & she has been advised that I file for the D.

I just don't understand this. As you know, don't do it if you don't want to. But also, don't push her too much to do it. She knows now clearly that the ball i sin her court, so if I were you I would never bring it up. She may want a D today, but she may not in 6 months. If that is the case, can you wait that long?

As you'll see her excuse for not wanting to talk is, she can't find the time. I would just like to point out that she is living about 10-15 mins car ride away. How much time does one need?

So, so what? She has a flimsy excuse. Don't expose her for it. You might push her into filing which is not what you want. And even if she really does want a D (not at all sure she does), she may change her mind. Time is on your side. Don't inadvertantly push her.

Me: Hi, I just called to ask if you still intend talk about this?

Fine, you called. Don't push the D issue any more. She knows where you stand. She knows it is up to you. As far as your concerned, if nothing happens between now and the end of the year, it's fine. Go GAL!

Me: If you don't want to talk about this I understand..Do you feel there is anything to talk about?

You're pushing her a little here to say it. Do you see that? Give her time and space. Don't push.

W: I don't know.......I don't know......Do you want me to come?

GREAT ANSWER!!!!!!

Me: If you feel there is anything we need to talk about?
W: I don't know.

Again, pushing a little, and GREAT ANSWER!!!! There is a reason for you to be patient, I think. Why not try?

Me: Ok, let me just say that this is not my choice, it is yours, I would prefer a different outcome to D. However I will respect your choice 100%. If D is what you want then I would prefer that you file.
W: The lawer say's you have to file against me though.
Me: If D is truly what you want then please file for Unreasonable behaviour.
W: But that would not be right, would it? It would not be true.[/quote]

This is all fine and good.

Me: It does not matter if it's true or not, if D is what you want then please file.

A little different here. You asked her to "please file." See the subtle difference? I'm sure it's ok, but don't push her.

I don't know what to make of it but I do think D is what she does want, but does not want to file against me.

It may be what she wants now, but maybe not down the road. Wait it out. What have you got to lose? A few months of focuing on yourself?

I wanted to put the ball back into her court for her to pick up. I wanted her to see that this is not as easy as me filing against her & her signing. I wanted to make her see that she has to do the work & move the ground to get what she says she wants.

Mission accomplished. You don't need to do it again.

As it stands now I don't know if she will file or not

Me either. Maybe her either.

Hang in there buddy. Keep fightin the good fight. What have you got to lose?

Nomo