how could someone be so cold and distant for nearly 4 months now ...What and the heck did I do wrong?
You have done nothing wrong. Your wife is depressed. People who are depressed often or even usually project blame onto the closest person--usually this is the spouse.
She may not be aware that she is the problem--many of them really think the other person is completely to blame--some project knowing it's not real, but many believe it.
This is NOT about you. Your wife is not well. The greater your acceptance and empathy, the easier it is to Stand.
KB- I can only imagine how tough it is to be in the same house as your W. You must have the patience of a saint to be able to do what you are doing. Keep it up if you can. The best thing I can tell you (the same thing that everyone keeps tell me) is let go. My H moved out 5 months ago (no warning) so I am sure it is easier for me but I have just finally let go and I am feeling (at least at the moment) so much better. Try not to think about her. Try not let her moods effect you. Just be as happy as you can be...I know easier said then done. When you can get there, things will be so much better for you.
UD & RCR.... Thanks for your thoughts, words and especially hugs. Boy could I use one of those right now! I'm not sure what's worse, having your spouse out of the house and wondering if anything will ever change, or seeing your spouse in front of your very eyes completely reject you day-in and day-out. But I will take your advice. I think maybe I'll have few beers with a friend tonight. And hang with my teenage boys tomorrow. I'm hoping she'll see my changes and turn the corner someday. In the meantime, please check in with me once in a while to keep my sanity and keep reminding me of what to do.
RCR is right, This is not about you. Sure your marriage had problems, every marriage does, but this is really about them, not you. It takes a while to fully understand this, but when you do you will feel much better and look at your W in a different way.
M35 W37 S9 D6 M12 yrs Know 15 yrs Bomb 1/28/07 My Sitch Failure is the opportunity to start again more intelligently - Henry Ford
