H coming today, what do I do when he asks how I am

[SallyM]

the spiral continues. I called his mom today...to check on how she was doing, but then I probed a bit about whether he was gone for the weekend or not. on the pretence of finding out if she had "someone there" to help her if she is not doing well (she's been ill).

and I called H today to tell him his computer came (laptop had crashed and company was sending it back to him here). could have just told him it tonight when I talk to the kids. and when he said they were off to the beach today, I asked which one. he sounded uncomfortable by my asking...turns out he's going to one of our favorite ones, but its further than where he usually takes the kids. and its one that ow has a beachhouse at. so I'm twisting my guts over whether or not he has arranged to meet her and her son there. keep in mind, he's promised me he won't do that until papers are signed. but then, he's promised me a lot of things that haven't quite lived up, hasn't he?

need to get back on track. no more calls today. I'm making myself ill about him going away with her this weekend...trust me, I have it so built up in my mind that he's practically flying her to paris. but I'm going to try to put it out of my mind and work on myself and continue my 180s, so if he is just blowing hot/cold to see my reaction (thanks, mike, again, for that image, it helps), I am consistent. its funny, my friend keeps telling me about how he is acting like a child, clasic mlc stuff, and she reminds me that with any child, its consistency that works.

I've been busy today, at least...sorting thru old kids stuff and selling it on my twins club, but hey, its useful and I'm busy. going to a movie tonight, and just called some friends to come to dinner on sunday...waiting to hear back. hopefully they will. the weekend isn't going to be nice enough to do the other things I thought of to keep busy/have fun.

breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out.

my above post still stands, also...should I really stop telling him I want our M to work out? I'm only telling him when he asks. but I see 25yearsmlc's point, too. am wondering if I am misunderstanding things in db, or if I just need to regroup and do something different.