So my wife moved back after promising to break off communications with the OM. On the second day I checked her phone and found that she had been talking to him again. I confronted her... and told her that she needed to move out.
We ended up in a lengthy conversation about her feelings.. and she had a chance to be "honest". She said that she hasn't had feelings for me for many many years, that sex hasn't been satisfying for her, and that the reason she came back was because she felt obligated (by family, religion, etc). The OM apparently satisfies her needs, espessially the sexual ones (he is apparently much more experienced). Still she knows he's not good for her and is trying to figure out whether to leave him.
I've decided it would be best allow her to move forward with legal separation and to get a life. I pray that she'll realize what she's lost before it's too late...
I believe that passion (emotion and sex) can be brought back... if she tries. It was strong when we were dating and our early marriage.
Do you guys think there's a point at which a W can be two far gone to even try? Obviously, while she's involved in the PA, she can't really reconsider our marriage. Still I'm concerned because... she says that her feelings stretch so far back and that she felt sick while making love (a point that was particularly hard for me to hear).
She still thinks I'm physically attactive and sees me as her best friend... but feels that the passion is so far gone that it's not worth putting effort into the relationship. I think by perhaps going dark, she'll realize that I was providing for many of her needs.
Me - 29, W - 27 T: 10+ yrs M: 6+ yrs EA: 4/16/07 PA: Soon After
