I did not do very well, I admit. The word "whore" may have come up a time or two. She claims to be dedicated to the idea of a divorce, despite her continued actions to the contrary. She is also still planning on going to see OM next week, so I guess the rumors of break-up were a bit overblown (I still think something happened, but oh well).
I tried the "5 the hard way", but I could not get her to come around to my thinking. It did kind of rattle her, though. I think.
Tough love all around. I gave not an inch. As we left it, she can get on the plane and come back to an absolutely brutal divorce, including putting her former lover on the stand and destroying her current OM's relationship with his kids, OR, she can break off all contact with OM, see a therapist of her chosing, and I will work with her to reach any resolution she desires.
This is an example of what Nomo & others might be talking about. Yes, I do think it sounds like WC relates differently on the board than what happens w/ his wife, however, if what happens above is true or expressed in attitude alone, it prolly isn't having a positive influence on the relationship, yes?
We're all pulling for each other & I think Nomo is a valuable resource in that effort.
What you post is equally helpful Atlas;
Quote:
when the topic gets heavy you get heavy handed and she pulls back. i know how bad you want to tell her what she is doing is destroying herself, detrimental to your s, and hurting you, but i just don't think now is the time. become that person she can turn too and eventually she will.
This is all good stuff for us all to apply to our own sitch's.
