The thing I've come to realize is that if we look for validation from others on anything, it's like we're always seeing ourselves in some sort of fun house mirror based on another's life experience or inherent temperament and preferences. When we are able to give ourselves affirmative messages, we no longer need the external validation and we open ourselves up to greater connection with others when we can accept their individual preferences that might conflict with our own as well as those that are affirming.
MJ, this statement encapsulates what I have been slowly coming to believe recently and wraps it up with a nice little bow. When you depend on external validation, anyone who disagrees with you or disapproves of your beliefs or actions becomes a threat to your sense of self. Not not not healthy. And that mental posture limits you so sadly in terms of being open to learning and growing.
Thank you for capturing this so well.
Why couldn't I have learned this in my 20's????
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
