Thanks for the input. Please be assured that I did not argue with her. For the time being, I am agreeing with everything she is saying. So I did indeed back off (see, I'm learning!!!).
I did not bring up cable TV. I brought up sleepwalking as a stand-alone issue. The conversation lasted no more than 3 or 4 minutes.
And, finally, I am kinda snooping. Actually OM's wife is doing the snooping and feeding me info. Does that count???
OK, just kidding, of course it does. I am scaling back contact with her anyway, and will probably cut it off completely. It is not helping me with my goals, and is frequently a distraction. So I agree with you 100%. But I feel like a junkie... I just cannot stop. Is there a 12-step program for this???
Speaking from me being a mother, I don't understand how she could leave her children. That is a mystery to me and totally out of character for a mother. As much as I am a good candidate for a EA, I could never do it on a count of it hurting my H and my children.
How old are you kids?
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
I believe that she justifies the time away with OM this way: "Well my husband travels for work all the time, leaving me here with the kids. It's my turn to be away!"
I am convinced she is possessed by the devil. There is no other explanation.
lol ... yeah, she's pretty cute. But I am keeping my distance... and given how lonely I feel at times, that is becoming increasingly difficult. I have never spoken to her on the phone, and never met her in person, all email and chat. She is starting to steer the online chat conversations in a direction that is not good for quality DBing, if you know what I mean... So it's time to move on and stay focused!!
Yeah, the snooping thing can be addicting. I get that - but it's a very unhealthy form of dependency you are flirting with there. Step back from it for a bit - do you want to be the kind of person who spies on their spouse? Do you think that this is an attractive or desirable trait? Would YOU be attracted to someone who spied on you?
As far as OM's wife - well, here's a thought. Rather than letting her lead you down the path that damages the R, why don't you point her towards reading DR and see if you can join forces to DB both of the crazy people at the same time? They won't know what him 'em!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
Rob- Agree about snooping. As I said, it is indeed like a drug - you want it sooo bad, and you know it's not good for you in the long run... but you crave that info, you just must have it. You know what I mean... But good perspective on it being an unattractive trait. Never thought of that. I need to have that thought in my mind more often.
Nice idea about her DBing, but she won't do it. She wants him out of her life, and she wants to move 1000 miles away to where she grew up. She knows I am DBing, I have given her a link. It's just not for her.
If that's the OMW's* perspective on things, then I would suggest that you think about really limiting your communication with her. The people around us can help us in our efforts, or hurt us. I fear that she's not helping. Be kind (she's suffering too, certainly) but be firm.
* Hey, a new acronym!!
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
I understand about snooping being a like an addiction. I know the password to my H's voice mail on his cell phone and it's hard not to use it to see if the OW has left him a message. My best friend described it like a sore, I need to let it heal and quit picking at the scab. A gross analogy but still true.
She is starting to steer the online chat conversations in a direction that is not good for quality DBing, if you know what I mean... So it's time to move on and stay focused!!
BTDT
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
