Madonna/Whore Complex (part 7)

[Crazy Eddie]

And dealing with the fact that normal people deal with those issues just fine,

Yeah everyone "looks" normal and fine while the issues are simmering under the surface...until they aren't.

That's the tough part to learn. The coping mechanisms you have to keep you "normal" may be what causes the long term damage. Also that's part of what james Hollis calls the middle passages. It's when your coping skills for your "shadows" begin to fail.

I think I see what you mean. I remember all sorts of coping mechanisms that sort of worked sometimes, but "wore me down" until I couldn't use them anymore because of exhaustion, depression, frustration, or something like that.

Other people that you look up to or who might look down on you for going to a counselor may be doing the same thing, and might end up needing help years from now. A very good thing to remember.

It is a judgement about you, or at least an indication that you can't handle some part of your life without help.

How come people aren't viewed as weak for taking their car to a mechanic or for going to the Dentist or doctor or for that matter wearing glasses?

I don't really know. Maybe because there's a lot more people wearing glasses and going to the doctor than there are going to counselors, or so it seems.

Why go to school? Shouldn't we just be able to magically learn on our own?

People that "get it" make it look easy. People that don't can't seem to get it no matter how hard they try, and when compared to the people that make it look easy, the people that don't "get it" look like idiots, to themselves and to unsympathetic bystanders. The same way that people who dropped out of school tend to look like idiots, even when they may be intelligent and had to drop out due to illness or unstable childhood situation or whatever.

FWIW, counseling is no magical cure-all and not everyone is great but I still believe EVERYONE no matter how "normal" would benefit from counseling.

Most of the stuff you learn from a good counselor should have been learned in childhood, but a lot of children don't get taught these things. Some do figure it out (at least enough of it to get by for a good while) the hard way as they deal with life after childhood, and some need a little more help. Maybe there is a bit of a "new religion" to it, when you think of how everyone would benefit if these things were taught to all children somehow.