I am caught up on your posts. I can relate to what you said a couple of posts ago about thinking things are going to magically improve at any moment. I did that a lot earlier in my sitch, but I am finally to the point now where I realize that any improvement is going to be small and slow. It looks like you are getting there too. It helps to keep our expectations realistic.
I think you have a good plan on MC (going yourself and not worrying about H right now). You are right that pressuring him isn't going to help and you yourself will benefit from going, whether he is there or not.
On going away this weekend, I would say to just go yourself and not worry about H, but I can see how taking the kids to an amusement park by yourself would be a problem. My D is the same age as yours and I know how limiting it can be to go out and do things with one that age. Do you have a friend or family member you could ask to go along instead? Even a teenager could be of good help. Does your H understand that the amusement park won't work well w/ only one adult there? I don't think you want to guilt him into going, but it's a bummer that the kids might have to miss out because of your H's choices.
As for the sleeping arrangements, I can understand your frustration with that too. My H has done lots of complaining about his various alternate places that he has slept (guest bedroom, his friend's condo and even in his own apt. now) and it is hard for me to understand how, even after all of his complaints, he would prefer to sleep in those places than in a comfortable bed w/ me. It hurts, but I guess it makes it clear how much pain, resentment, and distance he has when it comes to me. It is best that we let both of our H's have the space they are looking for and not bother them about it. Hopefully, one day, they will make different choices than they are making now.
