CVA - "Back in Shape"

[waw1978]

Hey CVA

Love the idea for the next thread title! Funny. Anyway, I am sure your cat would be fine for a long weekend with food and water/fresh litter. You may want to look into one of those replenishing feeding/water units. It kind of looks like a water cooler. that way as the cat eats or drinks it draws form the resevoir. I have one for my dog's water and it works well.

Funny but one of the things my H is holding over my head, aside for the custody/visitation with D4, is the dog. Its my dog! He actually had the audactity to tell me he was keeping her because he needed a security system. Things are turning nasty for me my LBS is taking a stand I think and trying to play hardball.

Like Nomo said, be patient. Let your W make the first move. Even if its seems like an eternity. You have a wonderful repore right now with spending family time. Everthing else will fall into place.

[Matt-14]

Hey CVA,

I know what you mean, just be patient, it will happen. Let her make that move. When the time is right, I think you will both know.

Matt

[Not Much Left]

Hopefully the new title will be CVA - piecing/in a good mood! But if neede i think for the thread police i could call it CVA - BBMC (boobs, botox, MILFs, & Cats!).

I hear everyone on the patience thing. Will do.

Thanks everybody!
Have on on great day.

[Not Much Left]

Hey friends.
Just need to share something. Just left the Docs office - 6 mos post op check up. He shook his head in amazement at how well I healed. Pointed to my ring finger and said, "what's this? Is it there because you dont want to take it off, or are you working things out?" This from the man who fixed my neck, saw me walk in after 3 mos post op, knew something was wrong w/ my emotional state and said "now show her the man she married, I know you have been through hell and she will never understand it, so just pull yourself up by the bootstraps and show her and pull this thing back together". My doc is my age, 4 kids and knew exactly what had happened. People's insights to others amazes me. I truly believe God puts other people in our path to make things happen and understand that there is a plan for each one of us.

Sorry to preach, just in a really good mood about what he said.

Was thinking about just telling W, "thanks, thanks for all your support while I was sick, I know it was hard on you and without your support I would not have made it". Too much?

CVA

[SunnySeason]

Thanks for sharing that CVA, it is amazing when someone like your Doc is so clued in, especially when they see so many people & are so busy.

Telling W "thanks" would be a good thing, I think. It's offered w/out anything attached & would be more of a validating of her efforts when you were in need of her help.

Sunny

[ItsKat]

Wow, that is cool how concerned your doctor was about your M too. I think it is rare these days to find a doctor that takes the extra time to talk about something like that.

I am w/ Sunny and what to say to your W. I think thanking her is fine and even mentioning how you know it was hard on her is OK. But I would not tell you that you wouldn't have made it through without her. That part is too much.

[Not Much Left]

Got it, thanks. You know what is almost the hardest out of all of this, here is a little story from the pastor who married us and my wifes' sister's FIL (follow that?).

He has brought us together 3 times before. When this all happened he basically had the wisdom of these boards and expressed them to me and I didnt understand or believe it.

So after some heated discussions w/ him about S / time apart being a good thing, all communication w/ him stopped. I later called him to apologize for my obstinance and to tell him I needed help. The hard part is this, his interpretation of my physical health was that a lot of people are in pain and dont act like you did toward your wife. You would be here regardless becasue of your demeanor and you need to fix it.

Semi-true. I had / have work to do on me. I actually felt like I was making progress toward me and our R 2+ yrs ago after the last time and got de-railed by this pain. Yes I let it pull me under and get completely self absorbed. Think about how you would be if just looking down to clean a dish in the sink or trying to play w/ your kids for 5 minutes was so overwhelmingly painful that you just have to go sit / lay down. That was the magnitude of the pain.

He ends that particular call w/ "CVA, you need to find someone you trust, and PAY them A LOT, You have the money and it isnt about the money. Whether its me or someone else, you need to do this", HUH? I thought you were my quasi FIL and wanted to spiritually adopt me and part of our family. He did this after the 3rd time as well, called me and hit me up for money, essentially. It left such a fould taste in my mouth I have not called since. He really is a wise man and my W does seem to listen to him & his wife. SHOULD I REINITIATE CONTACT?

OK Rambling now. Part of this is from the Doc experience. He basically says to me, CVA, I know what you have been through, most people in your shoes would have been on Hydrocodone / Vicadin and you toughed it out. Not a party by any means but you should not beat yourself up over this.

OK So here is where I was really going with all this. I feel better now than I have in the last 12 yrs (married for 13). Had my original accident 1 yr into M. Literally as I am feeling better my W says get out! How ironic or twisted is that?

Time to get back to being who I can be.

Thanks for reading if you got through all that.

CVA

[Nomopo]

Just left the Docs office - 6 mos post op check up. He shook his head in amazement at how well I healed. Pointed to my ring finger and said, "what's this? Is it there because you dont want to take it off, or are you working things out?"

Maybe I mis-read it, but it sounded like he was surprised you would still have your ring on.

Was thinking about just telling W, "thanks, thanks for all your support while I was sick, I know it was hard on you and without your support I would not have made it". Too much?

How would you tell her? How about a little hand written note, maybe on a nice card you pick up at a stationary store. (BTW, I loaded up on nice cards.) Different medium might be nice, appear more thoughtful and sincere? Plus, avoids the risk of a R talk (not that that is a big risk here, but generally). You would also not have to fight the temptation to say too much once you got on a roll.

Nomo

[Not Much Left]

Thanks Nomo, perfect
He knew W and I were having problems after that 1st follow up so I guess he assumed the worst.

[Nomopo]

Ok. Surprised me a little that he assumed the worst given his advice to you then about showing her the man she married. He still sounds like a great guy.