Lessons from a former WAS

[thegoodfight]

I will try answer as best as I can. First off what did she do that helped, she did not stand in my way and said to me you have to figure things out for yourself. She did not threaten that if I walked out the door physically or emotionally she was done. That helped make me think long and hard about this. I took me about two weeks physically to come back and about 3 months emotinally to clear my insane thoughts.

Let me say my thoughts and perceptions were not rational but at the time I could not see it. I saw a counselor before moving out and all she did was listen but asked very few questions and offered no solutions. Let me say hind sight 20/20 not a good counsler.

The difficulty now is although I am back emotinally she now has second thoughts on if she wants me back. Let me say if you really want your spouse back and they come back be prepared to feel anger and resentment toward them. If they are truely committed to admitting their faults and working toward a common goal it would be good if the other spouse knows what they want.

The roller coaster effect is tough on both. I hang in their because she showed patience with me and my family her and our son is worth it. Plus I owe it to myself. I will not make the mistake of leaving physically or emotionally again even though on occassion she says sometimes I wish you stayed gone. Again that is a shot sometimes that is hard to swallow even though I am mostly to blame for our situation.