Not to get too theoretical here, but is our lovely WAW really a WAW? Sure, she's the one that left the house. BUT, she's also the one making all of the effort to repair the R. To me, sounds like she's making a legitimate effort to save a R that's very important to her and that her H is being a total blockhead; something with which we are all, unfortunately, familiar.
Anyway, just a thought.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
Yes H I really am a WAW. I am just one that made the plan to escape, enacted it really half-assed and then thought better of it once H seemed to want to go to counseling and make an effort. I really want him to work with me on the M. Its what most WAS wanted for a long time before the bomb but some have a more hardlined attitude than I. Once they made up their mind, that was it. On with the separation & D. I am no better. I am just a disgustingly optimistic person. As soon as he seemed to be making an effort, I opened my mind to the possiblity. But yes, he is being a blockhead and not getting it. Which is driving me back to the escape plan rather rapidly. I see many trips to the atty's office and nasty custoday battle ahead. My H is going to fight me tooth and nail for everything we have. Also part of the reason I was really into working things out. He is the type that will make the rest of my life as miserable as possible. Again, I have a wife in most ways, not a husband.
Plus, I know we share a daughter. She is my priority. If there is any way I can manage to stay married to her Dad, I am going to try. My own parents went through a nasty D. Granted, I think now in retrospect them staying married would have been complete torture and I would be far more scarred than I already am.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
I'm glad that you are making the effort WAW, and I truly hope it works out for you and your H.
Me:38 W: 35 Married 11 years 2 daughters ages 7 and 3 D filed by her [url]http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1143353&page=2#Post1143353[/url]
Urgh. I think things are about to get a bit ugly. H has been sending me emails this morning outling our visitation schedule Which sucks for me because according to his master plan I get Tues nights (not overnight just evening visitation), Friday nights (overnight) and All day Sunday (returning her home for bed) only. and demanding to know when I am moving. I get the impression he is doing this via email to have a record of it.
Not good folks, not good.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
I'm sorry your H is acting this way. He control issues run deep. I like how he just emails you a visitation schedule and says "well her it is." Like he is the master planner in your R.
Honestly, I wouldn't have a problem emailing him back at all and saying something like, "I'm sorry that don't want to cooperate on deciding this schedule, but I feel this is something that should be a joint decision. Dictating what the schedule is going to be without my input is inappropriate and another example of your controlling behaviors that I have discussed with you. If you would like we can sit down together at x time and work together so that everyone is pleased with the schedule."
I had refrained from a response because I wasn't quite sure what to say.
Well tomorrow is going to be a very bad day. i am heading to an atty's office this afternoon (again) for a more indepth consult and direction on how to proceed. We have the MC sesh which is bound to be nasty and I am also making him open our safe so I may collect my valueables and half of our savings (oh yes, he removed all of our savings from the bank and put it in our safe which I conveniently do not have a key to)...
Wish me luck. I have feeling there will be big drama this weekend as much as thats not in my nature.
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
Man, what's up with the H's of our female compadres going nuts this weeks?
Hang in there, WAW. Keep cool and don't let him provoke you. While I have a hard time seeing GD as ever being this nasty, he did have some control issues. Maybe pick his brain for insight into some lever that you can say/use to get your H to see some sense.
He's out of control in his need to be in control of you, D, and even the dog.
Hope you don't have to dynamite the safe. What century is he living in? I have this image of your H as a western villain, evilly twirling his thin, waxed mustache as he piles stacks of 20s in your safe.
You probably are, but start documenting his actions/behaviors.
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
I just spit hot coffee out of my nose! That has got to be they funniest thing I have read in a while...he has a fondness for small bills so I bet its all in $20's & $10's.
Thank you guys again. Having all of you here to vent to his such a blessing!
Me: 30 EX-H: 37 DD: 5 Separated 6/07. MC for months, EX-H quit MC. Divorce Final 8/14/08. Trying to move on with new life.
WAW Pretty sure its not legal for him to take everything out of savings acct that has both your names on it. When my thing started, one of my friends said I should make her "feel some pain" by shutting off all the credit / bank accts and make her ask me for money. Bad idea. In the courts, that would obviously be viewed negatively. But again, I dont think I could even close an acct or take the majority of funds out even if I wanted to.
Me: 46 Wife: 39 D: 13 S: 11, 9, 7 Bomb 3.2.07, Sep Same Day, D papers 11.1.07 Current Status - Wants to take me through Discovery, I will go to prison first.
