Well I did dwell upon this all night at work. Came real close to telling the boss I was sick at about 330am, and come home did not, stuck it out.
I did make a decision last night....first some more background.
1 year ago, me and wife were hot and heavy house hunting. We had been looking for awhile, but we were getting more serious. I did have an inkling at the time that she was not happy, but I thought if I gave in and got a house with her that she would be happy.
Obviously getting a house is not what it took to make her happy as she left within 8 months.
We saw a few places that we liked, and put in a few bids. We missed 1 house by $1000, that one had an upstairs apt, I really wished we had got that one because the extra income would help alot right now. But anyhow, this was the 3rd house we bid on, we were the first people to look at it, and immediatly told the seller that we want it pending inspection. It all checked out and we financed out and bought this place. I do like this house. But I am not keeping up with the payments. Well I am, but I have been doing cash advances on my cc accounts to keep my bills paid. I am slowly sliding further in debt.
Now before we bought this house, I was paying all of the rent at the last place along with all of the household bills. She took care of groceries. I told her that if we were going to step up from rent to a house payment I would need some contribution from her towards this. She just got a promotion and I was asking her to contribute a bit less than 20% of her take home towards the mortgage. I took care of the rest of bills, and she the groceries. Leaving us both leftover cash.
Onw of her big gripes was that when she contributed, she saw that I used some of the money to go out. I used my check to pay mortgage and bills. The money she kicked I used for my expenses, gas, cigs, fun money. It all was in the same pile, I was keeping up my end plus.
Anyhow as of early May, shortly after she left she stopped kicking any money towards the mortgage. Leaving me with all of the bills, plus the mortgage to boot. I am sinking slowly like I said......
When we bought this house, it was based upon both of our incomes. Her name is on all of the papers right next to mine. She is liable right along with me on that mortgage note.
I really would like to see our marriage survive this. But on the other hand, I do not see why I should allow myself to fall into finacial destruction while I wait. I wait for her to drop more bombs on me.
What choices do I have?
1. Keep doing like I have, and slide further and further in debt.
2. Not pay the mortgage and allow this house to go into foreclosure, thus destroying both of our credit?
Or maybe it is time to stop the bleeding.
The decision I did come to is that I am going to seek legal counsel on this. I am not going to file, but see if I do have some other options that I do not know about.
I think that it maybe time to attempt to sell this place, most likely at a loss. She has definatly put me in a spot. Perhaps it is time that I so to speak turn the tables. I am thinking that perhaps we list the house, and give her the option of either keep up her end of the mortgage payments until such time as we sell or that she completely signs off on this house. If she signs off perhaps I could pull a refiy and save it? dont know if that is possible.
But perhaps it is time to put her in a bind about this? Probably will not help save my marriage, but maybe save myself from finacial ruin. Where does dbing end and self preservation start?
I will think about this alot, and not make any moves without careful consideration........ but enough is enough too.........
Ok I admit I am angry, but I am going to check out my options.
