1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with your wife about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES. NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN THEY ARE PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
>> >> Marriage Counseling>>>>> A husband and wife came for >>counseling after 15 years of marriage.>> When asked what the >>problem was, the wife went into a passionate,>> painful tirade >>listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years>> they had >>been married.>>>> She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of >>intimacy, emptiness,>> loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, >>an entire laundry list of>> un-met needs she had endured over the >>course of their >>marriage.>>>> Finally, after allowing this to go on for a >>sufficient length of time, >> the>> therapist got up, walked around >>the desk and, after asking the wife to>> stand, embraced and kissed >>her passionately.>>>> The woman shut up and quietly sat down as >>though in a daze.>>>> The therapist turned to the husband and said, >>"This is what your>> wife needs at least three times a week Can you >>do this?">>>> The husband thought for a moment and replied,.. >>"Well, I can drop>> her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on >>Friday's, I fish!>>
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
Just getting ready to leave to work and a Sherriff comes up to me with papers. To my utter astonishment!!! A restraining order from XW. WTH, haven't spoken in months. It states in the order that her son observed me walking by the house on july 2. Then she states when she came home from work that evening her basement door was open and the light was on. She called the police and they searched the house. She says she's afraid and that maybe I left a "calling card". YIKES!! There is much more stories going back over a yr. to which there is some truth. Not proud of that but we had spoken after and even reconciled since some events.
I have been through almost everything in relationships but a restraining order wasn't one of them. I was proud of that.
I don't know what to feel.......
I have to drive today so my mind will be racing. I hope some of you will pray for me as I suppose I will get real down.
Sucked back into the drama, I feel like crying.
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
How is it we still find ourselves here after so much time, still in pain. Sucks but those are the cards we've been dealt. Chin up, Buddy. I'll drink one for ya this weekend.
One evening my wife was travelling home in our car with our 3 month old baby in a baby seat next to her, as she approached a roundabout she saw it was clear. She pulled out, but as she did so she saw a light and looked towards it and there just about to impact was a large van (Ford Transit) as the van slammed into our car my wife knew our daughter had born the brunt of the impact and would have suffered terrible injuries. Screaming, my wife was dragged from our car by a witness to the accident, she tried to get back to the car but the man wouldn't let her. When she finally composed herself enough to tell him about our daughter he looked horrified as the engine bay of the car was starting to smoulder. He reassured my wife that he would help and she said to me that she knew he meant it and she felt instantly calmed.
The man tried in vain to free the child seat that had cocooned our daughter, but it was stuck steadfast pinned in by the crushed bodywork. As flames started to show from under the bonnet the man climbed into the car, his attempts becoming more desperate. Within minutes the flames were becoming more and more violent, other witnesses tried to help but they were beaten back by the heat from the flames.
By the time the fire engine had turned up the car was well and truly alight and my wife was sure both our daughter and the heroic man had perished. The fire was extinguished and the ambulance crew took the lifeless bodies of the man and our daughter from the wreck.
My wife rang me to let me know what had happened and I met her at the hospital, she told me about the man who had tried all he could for our daughter and I felt I had to see him to say Thanks. The hospital staff told me he was in a serious condition, but I had to say Thanks to him.
I walked into the room where he was and was shocked to see a man so badly burned being kept alive by machines, the pain he must have felt would have been awful but he remained steadfast in that burning car.
Our daughter wasn't too good she was suffering from smoke inhalation and burns. She was on Oxygen for 2 days all the while the hero who saved her life was just a few rooms down in the same hospital, every day I stopped by him to see how he was going, the nurses had tried to find records of his next of kin to notify them about his fragile state but they could find nothing, It came to light that he was a tramp sleeping rough in the area.
The stronger our daughter became the weaker the trap became and 5 days after he saved our daughters life he passed away. The doctors treating our baby told us that without the man doing what he did she would not have survived the flames.
I felt so touched by the incredible bravery shown by this complete stranger to my family, then remembered that I have always thrown a few pennies to the homeless people I see, I think that he was a guardian angel who acted because I showed no prejudice to the homeless.
He paid the ultimate price but he will always have a home now...in our hearts.
Please remember the next time you pass by a tramp, they are a person and they are capable of great things.
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
I owe a call. Keep strong. Stay clear of things we talked about. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
