CVA - "Back in Shape"

[Not Much Left]

Not much tonight
Left relatively early after putting kids to bed. Both pretty tired so not much convo either.

I guess the hardest thing for me to understand right now is that we are acting like a family all the way up to her and I being in a R. We are more than coexisting at this point. So, how do I get her to take a step toward me? I know, I know, I cant control that. I will say it again, without a catalyst, she will likely never make the 1st move regardless of how she feels.

WAW out there, WAW and Sandi, others? if you are normally reserved snd never make the 1st move, how do we get there if there is somewhere to go?

CVA

[Nomopo]

It's too early to worry about her taking the first step. Patience CVA. Give it some time. Just let it be a little bit.

[Not Much Left]

Hey Nomo, saw you were back online and knew the wisdom was coming. Its like having your own guardian angel on your shoulder. Welocme back bro.

BTW, the 11th is looking pretty good right now. Just have to figure out what to say (talk about a 180, I can either go with "I am going to FL w/ some new friends" which I am sure would raise even a botoxed eyebrow or just say I have a mtg w/ investors and out of town.

Only other issue is the Cats. I was never a cat person (always loved dogs and still do) till I got this cat for my duaghter. This monster follows me around, sits in my lap, could kill you if it wanted to (18 lbs of solid muscle and teeth) so want to figure out how to get him fed. How many days we talking about?

[SunnySeason]

Just have to figure out what to say (talk about a 180, I can either go with "I am going to FL w/ some new friends" which I am sure would raise even a botoxed eyebrow

I'm officially adding you onto my list of people that make me cry reading their posts

I was never a cat person (always loved dogs and still do) till I got this cat for my duaghter. This monster follows me around, sits in my lap, could kill you if it wanted to (18 lbs of solid muscle and teeth) so want to figure out how to get him fed.

So now I'm stuck on boobs & cats...too bad I'm not able to make the Florida connection to meet you in person, you sound like an interesting person

Sunnny

Cats are cool.....

[Heimlich]

Patience, CVA. Let her go and then let her come to you. Never say never.

We've had two cats for 13 years. So long as you're not gone too long, fill up the food and water bowl, make sure the cat litter is fresh, and off you go. If you're gone longer than three days, you ought to have someone step in, just to give the cat some loving. I miss my dog, he was awesome, but cats are definately much lower maintenance. Now, of course, if you feed your cat wet food daily, you have to have someone come in daily for that as well.

If you go down to Orlando, I'd go the 180 route. I want to say that you've focused on kids/wife for your R. Showing her that you're expanding beyond those relationships, probably not a bad idea.

Oh, and what the hell kind of cat do you have? You sure it's not a young Bobcat?

BD

[Not Much Left]

Yeah, this thing grew to be a monster. Its one of those grey / black striped tabby? We do call it a bobcat. its probably 3 feet long laying down and it acts like a dog which is why I love it. After I put the kids to bed, it attacks me down the stairs till I feed it (in a loving love bites and swatting at me way all the while whining at me). Cool cat to say the least.

[Not Much Left]

Oh and on the 180 to Orlando

So, CVA, How did you meet these new friends? Uh, er, em....online on a chatboard about Divorce Busting..gotta go!

[Heimlich]

That sounds like an awesome cat. Back when my W and I were dating, we went out to dinner with a chick she worked with and her boyfried. They had a Manx. I sat down on the couch and this cat sat down on me and I was very, very nervous. A good 25 pounds. Beautiful animal. I'm not generally nervous around animals, but I thought it was gonna eat me.

We got a kitten last April, about two months after we had to put our dog down (just got too old, poor guy). Thought he'd get big, but he seems to have topped out at 11 pounds. Good kitty though. Chased our older cat so much that she's lost about 3 pounds -- so now she looks great and is happier than before. Go figure.

Anyway.

BD

[Not Much Left]

Yeah, we actually had to get another cat for this guy. He was attacking everyone cuz he had way too much energy. Now they just run 100 mi/hr through the house late at night. The last time this happened, I had to put my dog down (very sad day during a separation) and then shortly after our other dog drowned.

[Nomopo]

Re: talking to your W about a trip to Orlando, do no harm. If it's going to cause negative feelings, I'd avoid it. To me, you're not at a point where you need to shake things up. There's lots of good stuff between you and W. You don't need hard feelings. You need to keep working on and focusing on yourself, and showing W the changes and differences over time through your actions (like the night she went out with BFF and you played it cool - way to go). In my mind, doing that (probably over a longer time than you would prefer - so throw patience in there too), could be all you really need. You can always shake things up (eg, use dynamite) later.

Nomo