Sorry about the kick in the gut about the apt, NDDT, but it is not the end of the world. You can't make her decisions for her, but you can do your part by giving her her space and making your life what you want it to be.
I am glad that you chose the work option instead of the getting drunk option, but I hope you don't spend your entire time at work dwelling on your sitch. You yourself have said that you feel better when you don't dwell, so take your own advice.
