forever21's journey still continues.....

[forever21]

Hi all! Thanks for stopping by. Hope life is treating you each well.

I've continued to feel great and for that I am so thankful. I've been able to have my moments of sadness, anxiety, etc. without them throwing me off, or worrying that I'm going to get stuck in a funk. I just feel stronger. Yay me! I have taken things a bit easy as of late, but I don't feel too guilty about it. Been getting out some and also enjoying my time at home. Dogs are lovin' that the rain is gone again probably as much as I am. Saw this movie Away From Her last weekend. Could be a tough one to see in our sitches, but found it worth it.

Still not finished with my online course. Just a couple exams left. I've been dragging my feet on it. I've had my fears about this career path being right for me, and have done some over-analyzing I'm sure many would say. Didn't help that I came across the book The 4-Hour Work Week. Had added this guy's website to my faves a few months ago, before his book came out too. It's going to be a challenge to get started in RE sales while still owning my life. I then start going back to the thought of just divorcing, uprooting, and moving to a tropical beach.

On the M front....
I have been feeling more and more over my H, but also have been able to truly forgive him even more... just accept things for what they are. With the time I've had to heal, I am able to really take even more responsibility for my part in things. I used to end up blaming myself too much, be too hard on myself, and in those times forget all that HE was, is, and has done. I still do wonder if things could be different with us and haven't stopped standing, but don't just hope they will be. Things are and will continue to be different for me, that's for sure.

On that subject, this morning there was a call from my H's work. The voicemail was from a guy in Employee Services calling him back about some Deferred Compensation info he'd asked about, and the guy apologized for calling him "at home" but said his message had got cut off so he didn't get his ph#. That sort of excuse for these guys to call here to the house about stuff like that seems to be pretty common. Part of me wonders if its no accident. I handled it surprisingly well. I wondered if I shouldn't be freaking about it, as it's likely he is taking a loan from it (which he can do tax free apparently) or preparing to file. Either way, I figure there is nothing I can do about it and am not gonna sweat it.

Sorry this is so long-winded.

So, a little later, I decided to send the following text to him.....

Hi H. how r u? Hope good. Thanks 4 your help with finances. I really appreciate it. Need to pay a few more bills this week & there might be enough $. Think about u often. Wish u happiness. Hope ur enjoying your summer. Take care.

He texted back the following....

I think of u all the time. Sometimes it is unbearable. I know, hard to understand. The finances r hard but its cool. I will try and get a hold of u soon. God we need 2 talk soon. Hope all is going well. Bye. Love ya and i do miss u guys.

I didn't text back again. It's so funny how predictable he is. Just trying to keep me waiting. I think he might be fairly agreeable to mediate or collaborate if I was to ask him to D soon.