I should be happy...but I'm not

[forward]

I relate re. the depression. It is hard to deal with a depressed person. My H wouldn't leave the house and spent most of his time surfing the internet, cleaning obsessively, watching TV, and complaining.

So in a way, I do not miss him because he shut me out of his life.

But my world got smaller and smaller, too. Soon we were relegated to only a few friends and a few square blocks and he wouldn't leave the house or spend time with me otherwise.

My recommendation is to get out and do things you want to do. Ask nicely if W wants to go along, but still do the things you enjoy. She may come along if you tell her you'd like her to join.

In the meantime, I can't recommend IC enough. It will help you get through things.

Another comment: With a baby, you have kind of a Ground Zero they you head for when baby is born. That is when W will be most incapacitated and attention of baby will be most intense. Also be prepared for her depression to get worse.

Gradually, baby becomes a little more independent and even something as simple as baby feeding himself/herself will make a difference in being able to take care of one's self a little more.

What I would have appreciated: A few hours to myself to shower, read a book, do a pedicure, whatever.

Do the massage thing. It's groovy.