Sounds like your W has a lot of issues to work through on her own.
As for the move - be kind to yourself, you're going through a lot! If you have to for now, just throw everything in boxes and sort it later... might help ease the moving burden at least a little bit. Also it's kind of unfair for your W to expect you to pack up and move all her stuff too (and store it, presumably). I'd at most pack it up and drop it off for her at her parents' house.. or if you don't want to do that much, get your stuff packed, and give her some times to choose from that you won't be home when she can come back up her stuff.
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She always wanted us to get out of apt life and rent a house, and eventually buy one. I am thinking maybe I shouldn't go for an apt, but a rental house with a nice yard, just in case she may want to return.
Absolutely not. If that's what YOU want, then sure, rent that if you can afford it. But since you can't afford the apt on your own, can you really afford the house with the yard? Don't get yourself into debt or way overextended "just in case" - you really have to look out for YOU now. What if she DOESN'T return and you've now paid thousands extra on a house you hoped she'd like? Look out for you.
Me 35, H 38; Together 13.5 yrs, M 7 Bomb 1 10/07/06 Sep'd 1/14/07 - 4/15 Piecing: 4/07 - 9/07 Bomb 3 10/11/07: Never loved you, let's separate 2/08 slowly improving 7/08 Piecing (7/25/08 rings back on!!) Current thread
