Her confusion, I guess. I just think it would be really lousy to try and insert a "new daddy" in at this point, seeing as how their relationship is such a joke (not that I said that to her, mind you).
I didn't realize it until this morning, but I may have played a powerful card unintentionally. Speaking hypothetically (although I failed to point that out specifically) about introducing S to other people in our lives, I said "If and when we get to that point, I would want you to meet her before he does." Upon analysis, however, I now realize that the statement may have sounded more like an unintentional/semi-intentional admission to having a relationship.
Remember, the last time she thought I was seeing someone was probably the most progress I have made in my DB'ing efforts. Even though she has her weekend pretty well planned, she has already extended contact with me, unnecessarily, twice since the talk yesterday.
Anywho, despite some of my harsher statements during the call yesterday ("You destroyed a family, W, you do not get rewarded for that" comes to mind), byt the end of the call we were pratically falling all over each other to try and give the other what they wanted. The whole point of the call was to change S's schedule until I was sure OM was out of the area (I admit, to you and to W, that is a purely selfish need on my part, but go to hell if you don't like it: He's my son), and she claimed she was planning on taking the day off to spend with S, apart form OM (pretty hard to believe, and I'm not sure that I do, but nothing in this is easy).
I wound up agreeing to extend her a large amount of undeserved trust and let her spend the day with him. As a bonus, I offered her the use of the house (a big issue between us, more on that later if I have the time), as she continues to blame me for him being away from what he calls "my house". Nevermind that she left and took him out of here, etc..., we all know how the blame game works.
Well, lo and behold: They never came to the house today. Did S meet OM? Probably, but if so I know I will find out eventually. Why bother asking?
Yeah, I know that I routinely break the DB'ing rules, but I just don't see the point of trying to save a marriage with the person that she currently is. I'm still making moves, giving her the opportunity to see that I am a better option than anything she can ever expect to come across, but I'm to the point of weilding my most powerful weapon to date: Utter indifference.
Despite her liberal usage of that tactic, I've certainly found that she does not like having it used on her. I've told her quite clearly that she is welcome to spend the weekend with OM, no skin off my nose, and I think she beleives me (mostly because it's true: I could really care less). Wonder what she will be thinking while she is with him?
She's a bug under glass to me at this point: A curiousity, perhaps, but no real threat.
Please note: Lest you get the wrong impression, I am actually being quite nice to her in our routine interactions (complimenting her new haircut, thanking her for the tiniest things, etc...). I am simply not interested in giving her the slightest sign of weakness or desire on my part, because I know where that path leads (right here).
P.S. I don't care what her plans are in the castle, Me and S are gonna have one heck of a picnic this weekend. Tee-hee.
