I think I want to give up. HELP!!!

[NeedSomePatience]

I have had my sitch on another forum, but since I didn't know about OM when I first posted I am not getting any help, because I think it was in the wrong forum. My whole sitch (with more details) is in my signature but here is a brief synopsis:

May 2006 - wife began hiding cell phone and purse from me, i got suspicious and arguments began. She would always get very defensive when I would bring it up, I just wanted the truth into why she was becoming distant. constant arguing through summer (all summer she would "study" all night in the garage, calling a phone number I thought was her girlfriend's)

June 2006 - looked at her email, found a father's day ecard to one of her old professor friends (she continually said he is just a friend) that says "I love you so much...". She denies anything, that she just loves him as a friend (he is 27 yrs older than her)

Sept 2006 - Help her go on a trip to Miami by herself, so she can clear her mind, so when she got back we could sort through everything. When she got back, she became more distant. Hardly any sex (only once a month from Sept 06 to Jan 07, then NONE).

Oct 2006 - she begins to sleep on couch because of "back problems".

Nov 2006 - her professor friend comes over the house for thanksgiving

Jan 2007 - She tells me that we should "break up" because of all of the arguing, and I should give her space and time for us to fall in love again. I kept pursuing (did not know DB yet)

April 2007 - After many clues I kept finding, I decided to go to this professor friends house to see if she was there instead of school. I knocked on door, she was there, wearing his clothes. She tells me they are only friends but she has feelings for him but he doesn't know. She gets mad at me!

June 2007 - After my son's bday party (that prof friend came over to) I found another cell phone. She finally admits she has been having an A with professor since last summer. Became a PA in Miami (met him there, his hometown). She says she is on the fence about us. I had pushed her over the years by not giving her what she wanted and taking her for granted. He was there at the right time and gave her what she needed. She still loves me, but loves him. She continues to stay with him. But continues to stay close to me (sometimes really close, no sex though).

Now - She is continuing with OM, taking a class with him this summer and all her other classes are of his interests (he is cuban, all classes are about cuba). She still goes to his house. W and I are having a nice "friendship" through all of this though. We are getting along except for the M. She is now completely open with me about EVERYTHING (sometimes too much info about her R with OM). Everyday she continues this, it kills me. She makes me think that she might want to work it out, but then shows so much attention to OM (telling him ILY, talking on phone, with him until midnight). She is starting to get suspicious with him, but still in love with him.

I want to give up some days. If she wants him that means she doesn't want me. Why should I stick around. She has noticed the changes I have made. She sees that I now understand the mistakes I made and I will not revert back to that. She says we are best friends now. But sometimes I think that is all she wants and that is all we will ever be. I am going to continue to fix myself, but should I be aroud for her so she can have her cake and eat it too? I don't know. Some days are good, today (and the past couple of days) have been bad and I want to throw in the towel. I have read a couple of other sitches where it looked worse than mine, and they were successful, but I don't know how much more I can take of this.