I agree with OC - my H's OW finally pushed too hard (he will not tell me exactly what happened - says he's not ready yet) but I was also pulling away. It was a combination of the two that drove him to make the end decision.
H was so far in the hole he did not know how to get out. He asked me how do I come back to you?? I said I was no longer a sure thing and that he needed to maybe take a risk for us and to put his neck out on the line to REALLY try to re-commit to us and work on us FOR REAL (as long as there is a 3rd person there is little REAL reconnecting going on). H said that if in our re-trying that I found out I could not truly reconnect with him at least he could now say that he had tried to fix the R.
Hang in there LO you are an awesome lady!!
HB
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
I have questions for you. MY H like yours seems to wnats to return back home & has told the girls this on several occasions,but I feel its for the wrong reasons(solely for the kids he misses so much). I also think the reality is slowly starting to kick in for him & OW. She wants him to help her out $ ,but he can't afford to for he still pays our house and the utilities. He seems sad & on one occasion said he was miserable,but says we can'tlive together we dont get along.
We r physically seperated but not LEGALLY. So lately I have my doubts as to letting him tke the girls for the weekend to OW. This for two reasons: first for selfsih reasons & b/c i feel like I am making his lifestyle easier for him. Should I push him to get make this legal if he wants overnites w/ the girls???
From what I guess from your h saying he wished A never happened.... he is starting to realize he did something wrong. This is a step forward. In the beginning, he is ALL CORRECT in leaving you and loving OW (because of whatever reason he deems fit). Now, I am guessing he is starting to wake up. Granted, he still have strong feelings for OW (his fault to put HER into all these misery of D, etc.) No, he is not over her yet, long way from that. However, do you sense he is starting to feel a bit guilty towards you also? That he did not show before?
Thanks OC.. Always good to hear from you.. And, yes... H now expresses big time guilt for hurting me. Wishes he could turn back time and the A never happened, etc... Won't stop.. but feels guilty.. I don't get it. Hurts so good I guess...
