WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing

[waw1978]

Hello gents!

Thank you for your support. it is appreciated and helps keep me going down this very rugged rocky painful road. My H hasn't had the ephipany y'all have and I hope that it happens sooner than later. I think I will have to just pull the trigger and take some type of formal action. i consulted with an atty a few weeks ago on basic stuff to make sure I could not be accused of abandonment but didn't discuss filing or anything since I didn't see the need. Obviously I must have had my blinders on.

So whats holding me back from filing? Besides that I still love my H & wish he would work on the M with me...

My biggest roadblock is not having my own place yet. I feel terrible about possibly taking D4 out of her home before I have my new place all set up for her to come and stay. I don't want her to feel displaced. But I def have to do something. He cannot keep her from me and I refuse to go like this.

Its very sad, when he acts like this I just want to scream that its over. The M is dead, lets just move on with our lives. But then I think of the good times we have had and wonder if we can't get that back.

He accused me of not actually sleeping at my Mom's and of only focusing on the bad points in our M during the heated R discussion last night. There was also a half assed accusation that I was having an affair in addtion to these two insults. I really wanted to laugh and tell him that would be appropriate since I haven't had a sex life in 3 years. But I didn't still trying to be nice and play nice and not say hurtful things but I think I have reached the breaking point and he is going to start hearing exactly what I think about a whole lot of things.

When you wife just bluntly stated things how hurt were you? was it expected at some point that the kid gloves would come off and one of you would just let it rip so to speak?

We are both conflict avoiders but I am learning very quickly that this behavior got me nowhere and probably helped destroy my M.