HW Don't know if that theme is right Lou as I tend to clean a lot but am HD I question how you can be truly HD when you said there has been no or little sex for the past 3~5 years. Higher Drive than your H, yes, I see that. Normal drive given the right circumstances? Yes! But I don’t really know so should not give too much of an opinion..
I don't consider myself HD; it's just that BB is much lower drive. But that might just be semantics.
My long-term preference would be 2~3X a week. Maybe more than 2x a week now because 1X a month feels like crumbs.
However, the reason I clean a lot is along the same lines as CeMar's wife. I was thrown into "adulthood" at a very young age. I can see that 100% HW.
No matter what I did, it was never good enough for my mother. ((((HW)))) It was good enough HW. In reality it was 1,000X better than most kids your age.
Sorry you were not appreciated back then when you did the good deeds for your sibs. Sorry your mother didn’t appreciate it but you know how much good you did for the ones in your care. I can visualize the benefits to your sibling’s lives.
Do any of your siblings acknowledge some of what you did for them?
My stepfather was angry a lot and said things like I should be out on my own at 16. He left home at ~14. He was never as dysfunctional as your mother.
I moved in with my 18 yr older brother's family to escape the anger at home. I took care of his kids and they remember some of the things I did for them and they are in their late 40s.
Your situation at home has similarities to Mojo's. Mojo mothered her sister.
To this day I am sure a lot of what I do is to "prove" myself I guess I proved myself by working, learning all I could, given the circumstances, and earning $$.
Don't we all have something to prove if we possess a sense of responsibility and drive? Some types of proving can be harmful. Other types of proving are validating and build a sense of self-worth and contribute to our individual and collective growth. I am think about the Olympics, Tour De’France, hockey, even quilting or making a good burger.
One of my thoughts, when I said they clean a lot? was the thoughts that if something needed cleaning, took away from connecting with a mate/sexy thoughts.
Some guys say, when they work hard, they think ML is a treat, a reward to look forward to later in the day.
Some women say they are tired and ML is one of the last things on their list.
Aside from the gender stereotype, what is different? You have the same tiredness but two different reactions. It was along those lines, that I was thinking that the lower drive spouse, that the thought of something needed cleaning diminished their SD. BTW this was a problem with some LDHs of HDW posting on this forum. The H wanted a cleaner house before sex.
