Matt- I'm still around! I sent you an email. Thanks for checking in on me!
I've been keeping myself busy, but have had plenty of time to think about things. I re-read the MLC chapter in DR yesterday and have convinced myself that H is in a serious MLC. I think I was hoping that things would magically improve once we got past his 50th bday, but of course that didn't happen. I keep going back to our R talk after our MC session last Thursday (was that only a week ago? seems like weeks), where he said that he just wants to be alone. I told him that I had felt the same thing over the past year or so. I don't know if that helped. Everything that I read about MLC says that it could last 2 or more years! Ugh.
I have made a decision about joint MC. Since he was non-committal to making another appt with our C, I have decided that I'm not even going to mention the next appt and if he asks, he can come, and if he doesn't ask, I will go alone. It's next Thursday afternoon. I don't want him to feel that I'm pressuring him to go and I know that I will benefit if I go by myself. What do you think?
I made reservations to go away this weekend, but H has not committed to going away with us. He hasn't said no either. The wishy-washiness continues... I told H this AM that I had up until 4pm Friday to cancel and that I wasn't going to go if he didn't come because I wouldn't be able to bring all 3 kids to the amusement park by myself. We have an 18month old, so it would be impossible to go on rides with the older 2 (they need an adult with them to go on some rides). Another reason that I didn't mention to him is that I think it would be really sad to go back to this place without him, since we've been going as a family for the last 5 years.
Home life has been calm. I've been giving him space, not nagging or complaining about anything. I'm hoping that he appreciates the space but I don't want him to get the impression that I don't care.
